Video: Man explains to other men how to have “lesbian sex”

It’s Riley J. Menace again! In this video entitled “Having sex as a trans lesbian,” the heterosexual male YouTuber delivers his usual brand of preposterous nonsense and homophobia disguised as “progressive” politics.

He is addressing male-bodied people who identify as “lesbian” or “nonbinary” and who want to have sex with women. He starts off by saying there are no sex ed resources for these types of “queer trans” people. Ironically, since he is addressing male-bodied people who want to have sex with women, he is actually talking about hetero sex, the most-talked-about type in the world! And unlike most sex ed programs about hetero sex, Riley doesn’t say anything at all about birth control, making this information less useful than most regular sex ed! There are so many complete reversals of reality in queer/trans “logic” it makes my head spin.

People think that lesbian sex only happens between two “cis” women, Riley explains, but lesbian sex can also occur between two trans women or a nonbinary person and a woman, even if they have penises!

In order to respond to that, I will need to use this “fail” button.

The reality-denying queer/trans community likes to pretend that “lesbian” is an abstract concept that anyone can define for themselves and a free-floating identity label that anyone can try on like a hat. Well, it’s not just “anyone” because, in the queer/trans cult, only men can define what a lesbian is, and any actual lesbians who attempt to define “lesbian” are bigoted TERFs.

Sexual orientation is what sex you are attracted to, not what gender. Lesbians are female homosexuals, that is, humans of the female sex who are attracted to humans of the female sex. By definition, anyone who is male cannot be a female homosexual, since he is not a female anything. Men who believe they are “transwomen” or “nonbinary” are not lesbians.

The first thing Riley explains to the male “lesbians” he is addressing in this video is that sex doesn’t always mean penis-in-vagina sex (PIV.) This is just golden, because the only people in the world who think that sex=PIV are MEN. You would never have to explain to an actual lesbian (female homosexual) that sex isn’t always PIV, because for us, sex never involves a penis. We do not think about penises at all when we think about sex!

Men who identify as transwomen like to claim to have female brains, but they demonstrate at every turn that their brains are just as male as the next douchebag’s. If a man actually did “think like a woman,” it might occur to him that penises aren’t the center of the universe, without anyone having to explain it to him.

One of the bits of advice he gives is for men who are worried about going on hormones because they enjoy PIV and they aren’t sure how hormones will affect that.

It’s hard to even find adequate words to convey how incredibly homophobic and offensive it is to suggest that men who like using their penises to penetrate women and who haven’t even taken any hormones can possibly be regarded as “women” or “lesbians,” or that the heterosexual intercourse they’re having can be regarded as “lesbian sex.” A man who hasn’t taken any steps to medically transition and likes using his penis to penetrate women isn’t even a transwoman, so even if transwomen could be called “lesbians,” (and they can’t), he still wouldn’t make the cut. He’s just a regular straight man!

In 2017, in liberal circles, it actually needs to be explained that lesbian sex never involves a penis. It never involves a man of any kind. Lesbian sex, by definition, can only occur between women who are attracted to women.

Riley explains that sex doesn’t always have to include penetration, it can also involve touching your partner’s genitals with your hands! There’s another thing that all women already know, and the only people who haven’t gotten that memo are men! Men are the ones who define sex as “when I put my penis in a thing.” Women, however, define sex as when we engage in pleasurable activities that lead to orgasm. Women’s bodies respond to manual and oral stimulation and we all know that without being told!

His next bit of advice is to use sex toys, and then he reveals that this video is being sponsored by a sex toy company, Adam and Eve, who has provided him with sex toys to demonstrate! Wow. This isn’t the first time a sex toy company sponsored a video by a trans-identified person so that they could give “advice” on products to buy. As I said last time, if your liberation movement has corporate sponsors eager to sponsor you, it isn’t a liberation movement! So what products does the company Adam and Eve think that male “lesbians” need to buy in order to have “lesbian” sex?

Firstly, a large massager with a very powerful vibration, that, personally, I would never use because intense vibration like that makes me numb, that also has an add-on attachment for a penis! So a guy can have “lesbian” sex by putting his penis in a vibrating massager! And this is better than a regular sex toy for men because it’s more “feminine” and seems like something a “cis woman” would use. Pardon me while I laugh my ass off!

The next one is a strap-on, because if you put a strap-on over your penis you can feel like you’re having real “lesbian” sex! And just so that you feel really girly while using something so phallic, it’s pink and has a frilly-looking pink strap! (However, the dildo itself is still penis-shaped, which is weird. They make dildos that are smooth and not penis-shaped, so if you were dysphoric while wearing a dildo, wouldn’t you want the smooth kind?) I wouldn’t use a silly, pink frilly strap. Real lesbians use leather, dude!

The next sex toy from our lovely sponsor is one that stimulates the prostate. News flash: zero lesbians have prostates!

After he puts the sex toys away, Riley explains to the dudes who aspire to be “lesbians” that sex is a whole-body thing, you can focus on parts other than genitals, and lots of foreplay is good. Again, all women know this by instinct. It is only men who think that there is “foreplay” and then “sex.” That’s because for men, “foreplay” is just an annoying thing you have to do to get your lady interested in being penetrated. Sex between women is naturally a whole-body experience because we don’t define sex as ‘when I put my penis in a thing.’ Even those of us who enjoy penetration know you don’t start by immediately jamming things into her, you start by getting her aroused!

Then Riley finishes his autogynephile sex ed talk by suggesting BDSM. It never fails–the queer/trans cult is totally into the idea that if you are already dissociating from your body, the solution is to dissociate more. Riley suggests a paddle and some bondage equipment helpfully provided by his corporate sponsor. He mentions PIV again here, I don’t know why. It’s almost like he has PIV on his mind? Because he’s a straight man?

Riley is always offensive, but this video really tops them all. A man purporting to explain to other men how to have “lesbian sex” is just the height of male entitlement to appropriate lesbian identity and erasure of actual lesbians. I know that tons of people on various social media platforms have already told him how homophobic he is, and he just doesn’t care. Actual females, including actual lesbians, are not as real to these men as their fantasies are.


39 thoughts on “Video: Man explains to other men how to have “lesbian sex”

    • I’m a straight woman who loves PIV and I totally get it! In fact it was the cotton ceiling crap that first made me hit peak trans. I may not be lesbian but you’re my sisters.

      Since then, I’ve hit peak so many times that I’ve gone past it. I’m now officially trans fatigued.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. “Actual females, including actual lesbians, are not as real to these men as their fantasies are.”

    Best sentence ever. This whole business is all about male fantasy. Being stimulated by pretending to be a woman. Being stimulated by coercing a real woman in to doing something she really doesn’t want to do. While pretending to be a woman yourself. And so forth.

    Fantasies are all very well. I imagine everyone has them. I just object to being an unwitting participant in these guys’ make-believe world. Wouldn’t we all be happier if they just stuck to internet porn?

    Liked by 4 people

    • We and they would all be better off if they stayed as far away from Internet porn as possible and attempted to learn what it means to have a healthy sexual relationship, if they haven’t had the potential burned out of them completely.

      So sad to sacrifice all the beautiful nuances of human sexuality for internet rage and harassment. Pretty bad trade.

      Liked by 7 people

  2. I know better than to watch Dennis’s videos these days >_> but yeah.

    One thing that bothers me about this is that a lot of women are likely to take it at face value, especially younger and more inexperienced ones (also younger/more inexperienced transwomen, I guess). There’s a toxic combination of bad or no sex education in schools and a phallocentric, violent model of sexuality being pushed by porn culture which does lead lots of women to believe that sex is all about PIV or analogues to it. So I can see them just buying what Dennis says about lesbian sex involving penetration with sex toys and BDSM or whatever, and then being susceptible to pressure to do things like that because it’s “totally normal” and “that’s just how people do things”—even without a partner actively pressuring them, simply making that decision on their own because they feel it’s expected.

    I also can’t put too much faith in women’s instinctive knowledge of what they enjoy…. I think people are really encouraged to dissociate these days. I know other women who went through whole strings of pleasureless relationships just assuming that whatever they felt during sex was arousal, and if they didn’t enjoy it they were on the “asexual spectrum”, because they were doing everything they were supposed to be doing. I actually got lucky and found out what sexual arousal and pleasure felt like in my first relationship, but it was still a massive shock because it was nothing like what I’d been led to expect, and I still struggle with it because of feeling like there’s no way this could be normal and I must be some kind of freak.

    I don’t see videos like this doing anything but making that social climate worse by establishing new sets of expectations for more things women should totally do, it’s fun, you’re supposed to be having fun! This is what sex looks like!

    Liked by 2 people

    • But the Menace’s whole slant is totally sex-pos, which does nothing for women. Insert definition of women here: those of us born without a penis. Moving on, sex-pos is a totally male-driven agenda, eg Menace wittering on about PIV on a video about sex with lesbians? Huh?

      Fun-fems, neo-liberals, and sex-pos people are really damaging feminism as a movement and women as individuals.

      No woman in their right mind should buy this ridiculous nonsense, and no woman should EVER even have to consider sex with someone with a penis (used to be called a man before the days of women who have a (female) penis) if they don’t want. Fin.

      Liked by 4 people

      • I definitely agree with this, if that wasn’t clear. I feel like a lot of women are already being pressured into sexual relationships with transwomen as a direct result of people like this setting up social expectations.

        I wouldn’t call this “sex positive” though. It has nothing to do with sex in the actual sense. It’s rape culture, via porn.

        Liked by 3 people

      • No one should ever be forced or coerced or bullied or pressured into having sex if he/she does not want to. (When it gets violent the law has a name (and a penalty) for forcing this issue.)

        If you find that you feel pressured (not to mention forced) into sex, please resist by whatever means available! I’m disturbed by the extent to which many of these men (in my book someone with a penis is a man) are attempting, by methods subtle or brutal or whatever, to get women to have sex when actually they don’t want to.

        Liked by 1 person

    • ” I know other women who went through whole strings of pleasureless relationships just assuming that whatever they felt during sex was arousal, and if they didn’t enjoy it they were on the “asexual spectrum”, because they were doing everything they were supposed to be doing.”

      Seriously? Oo I didn’t realize it was that bad.

      It seems nothing much has changed since the days where advice to married women was to “lie back and think of England”, but at least, back then, women were allowed to be honest about it.
      Whereas nowadays, women still have to have unenjoyable PiV, but now are required to pretend (or even convince themselves) they enjoy it.

      I knew that lots of women fake orgasms, but convince themselves that they feel arousal because patriarchy requires that they should? That’s outright creepy.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Reblogged this on Clouds moving in and commented:
    In case you haven’t read any fantasy fiction recently, I bring you this from PuprpleSage about Dennis the Menace. Also known as Riley J Dennis, previously known as Justin Dennis. A 24-year-old trans person achieving social media fame (?) for his whacky pronouncements eg:

    “If you’re a woman who only likes women, go ahead, identify as a lesbian,” Dennis says, “but some women have penises. And if the fact that some lesbians might be attracted to those women offends you, it’s because you don’t think trans women are real women.”



  4. ‘Women, however, define sex as when we engage in pleasurable activities that lead to orgasm.’

    Not exactly true. I am a woman and, while I agree that sex is more than just penis-in-things, not all of us think that sex has to include an orgasm.

    Liked by 1 person

        • What is the point of having sex if you don’t come? I don’t understand it. It seems straight females do mental gymnastics rather than admit the truth: that their Nigels use them as receptacles and whatever they are feeling, it is at best lackluster and anti-climactic (pun intended) and at worst, physically painful and mentally dehumanizing. So they play up the whole “I feel empowered!” ” women don’t need orgasms! I love pleasing my boyfriend! ” crap instead.

          Why don’t you tell your boyfriend that he doesn’t need an orgasm when he has sex?

          Most straight women don’t admit to their Nigels that they don’t come (and why would they from jackhammer pounding anyway?). Now, thanks to “sex positivity” (ie penis worship), they can’t even admit the truth to their female friends. And meanwhile, female masturbation (through which clitoral stimulation without penetration would lead most to orgasm) is as shamed and silenced as ever.


  5. Watching Dennis screech with laughter at the oscillating head of the vibrator as if he were reacting to the pleasure it would give (I mean, bigger is better to him, right?) filled me with anger. Every device he touted was a workaround a penis, just one more way for a man to pretend he doesn’t have one. I wonder such devices actually do help those with dysphoria deal with their dysphoria, or whether all they do is enable transwomen to pretend they are women. I’m sure the company that makes them doesn’t care. Just one more example of the trans-industrial complex.


    • Actually, I would like laws to only permit males to be legally reassigned once they get rid of their rape guns. The less penis, the safer society will be for those of us born dick-fodder.

      Transworld, like general society, is inherently unequal given that most trans women, like all other males, love having a peen. Meanwhile, as a dysphoric female born person who HATES penetration and is repulsed by pregnancy, I was born with a vulnerability that I never wanted,

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hi, GDN. Are you trans? Judging a bit by your two comments you sound like you might be a “true transexual” but you also reveal that you are female and traumatized by femaleness. I don’t know how long you have been reading here, but welcome.


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