Reading anti-gay comments

Today I decided to read some homophobic articles just for the hell of it. I’m curious about what homophobic people are saying these days. I know they used to say that we were “destroying the moral fabric of society” just by loving each other. I found that phrase upsetting at first but I eventually learned to find it funny. Like, how can you destroy the moral fabric of society by loving someone? People who say this are nuts.

So I read an article from 2015 called “10 Reasons Why Homosexual ‘Marriage’ is Harmful and Must Be Opposed”. The reasons are:

1.  It Is Not Marriage

They define marriage as a union between a man and a woman and then conclude that since gay marriage doesn’t meet this definition, it’s not marriage. Okay… whatever!

An amusing quote from this section is that same-sex marriage “denies the self-evident biological, physiological, and psychological differences between men and women which find their complementarity in marriage.” That’s…weird. Somehow, two women getting married negates the difference between the sexes? As far as I can tell, when two women or two men get married, the biological categories of male and female remain intact.

Also, ‘complementarity’ is not a word.

2. It Violates Natural Law

I had never heard the phrase ‘natural law’ before, and just by the sound of it I assumed it was a law of nature. You know, like matter cannot be created or destroyed, and gravity pulls objects together, etc. But no, I looked it up, and apparently ‘natural law’ means the social constructs man have designed for how humans should behave. As the Christians have worded it: “Natural law’s most elementary precept is that “good is to be done and pursued, and evil is to be avoided.” So because men invented ‘natural laws’ outlawing homosexuality, therefore homosexuality is wrong. This is a fancy way of saying “because I said so.”

3. It Always Denies a Child Either a Father or a Mother

Well that’s just silly. All children have a mother and father– it’s scientifically impossible for any child not to have both, because a child is created from an egg from the mother and a sperm from the father. Whether or not the child is actually raised by both parents is a different story. There are many reasons why a child may not be raised by both parents, and although it’s important for a child to have loving parents, the biological parents aren’t always the best ones for the job. Some biological parents are abusive or unable to care for children for other reasons.

4. It Validates and Promotes the Homosexual Lifestyle

Homosexuality isn’t a lifestyle, it’s a sexual orientation. It would still exist even if it got no validation, because it’s not something we consciously choose.

People who are homosexual have lots of different lifestyles. For example, I am childless, urban, and geeky, and I spend lots of time reading. Other gays and lesbians might be rural, outgoing, adventurous, or sporty. Some of us are soccer moms!

Are these folks worried that if we “promote” homosexuality, the incidence will increase? Do they think that heterosexuals will be so seduced by the lure of homosexuality that they’ll convert? Because if so, I think they are demonstrating that they have a poor opinion of heterosexuality!

5. It Turns a Moral Wrong into a Civil Right

I still can’t figure out what is morally wrong about two adult humans loving each other. Why is love wrong, Christians?

6. It Does Not Create a Family but a Naturally Sterile Union

Why does marriage have to create a family? But seriously though, these people are obsessed with producing children. They act as though the entire purpose of human existence is to produce children. Despite world overpopulation, dwindling resources, and a fragile economy, apparently we should all be having tons of kids. Conclusion: being Christian is about being irresponsible!

Check out this incredibly creepy paragraph: “Traditional marriage is usually so fecund that those who would frustrate its end must do violence to nature to prevent the birth of children by using contraception. It naturally tends to create families.” ……really? That’s how Christians describe their sex lives? Sounds awful to me!

7. It Defeats the State’s Purpose of Benefiting Marriage

“One of the main reasons why the State bestows numerous benefits on marriage is that by its very nature and design, marriage provides the normal conditions for a stable, affectionate, and moral atmosphere that is beneficial to the upbringing of children—all fruit of the mutual affection of the parents. This aids in perpetuating the nation and strengthening society, an evident interest of the State.

Homosexual “marriage” does not provide such conditions. Its primary purpose, objectively speaking, is the personal gratification of two individuals whose union is sterile by nature. It is not entitled, therefore, to the protection the State extends to true marriage.”

………….okay……..so the State shouldn’t approve of any straight marriages among infertile couples or couples who don’t intend to have children?

8. It Imposes Its Acceptance on All Society

They’re upset that they might have to perform a same-sex wedding or rent or sell things to gay people. I would agree that a church shouldn’t be forced to perform a same-sex wedding if they don’t want to, because if you are a church you should be able to practice your religion as you see fit. I don’t know why any gay couples would want to go to a homophobic church and try to bully them into performing a wedding ceremony though—that would be really uncomfortable.  I’m always confused about why companies wouldn’t want to sell things to gay customers. You have a business, you need to make money, but you pick and choose who to sell things to? Do you interview all your customers to make sure they don’t do anything in their private lives you disapprove of before selling them a cake? (Answer: no, it’s ONLY gay people they disapprove of). If I had a business, I would still sell things to Christians, even though I disapprove of their silly hatred. Customers are customers.

9. It Is the Cutting Edge of the Sexual Revolution

“If homosexual “marriage” is universally accepted as the present step in sexual “freedom,” what logical arguments can be used to stop the next steps of incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and other forms of unnatural behavior? Indeed, radical elements of certain “avant garde” subcultures are already advocating such aberrations.”

I used to think this argument was stupid, but now that I see what’s going on in the ‘queer’ community, where they are trying to normalize ‘kink’ (aka sexual abuse) that includes things like ‘age play’ (acting out pedophile fantasies) and how they approve of ‘transwomen’ like Stephonknee acting out pedophile fantasies in public, I’m starting to think this argument isn’t so stupid. This is why it’s very important for lesbians, gays, and bisexuals to speak out against the sex-pozzie culture that is promoting abusive and dysfunctional behaviors. Being gay or bi is NOT about normalizing sexual abuse, it’s not about having an ‘avante-garde’ sexuality, and we have to keep making that clear, since there are pro-abuse infiltrators trying to attach themselves to our movement.

If people on the right are homophobic when they equate homosexuality with pedophilia, incest, and bestiality, then people on the ‘left’ who say these things should be considered homophobic too!

(Autostraddle = homophobic)

10. It Offends God

This is always an invalid argument. ‘An imaginary character I made up doesn’t like it’ is not a way to convince anyone of anything. I can make up imaginary characters and say they disapprove of you too, that doesn’t mean you will care. This is just another fancy way of saying “because I said so.”

Then I read this article “16 People Who Are Anti-Gay Explain Their Stance On Homosexuality.”

I’m not going to go through the whole thing point by point. A couple of general themes were:

(a) I don’t hate gay people, I just hate gay culture.

This means that the person has a superficial understanding of gay culture. They think being gay is about waving rainbow flags, marching around in skimpy outfits, drinking at the bar and being promiscuous. That’s because they only know what they see in short news segments, and this is the sort of thing that ends up on the news because it’s flashy. In reality, gays, lesbians and bisexuals spend most of our time doing the exact same mundane things that everyone else is doing. We wake up to an alarm clock, take a shower, go to work, drink coffee, go home and try to figure out what’s for dinner, visit our friends, engage in hobbies, and spend time with our spouses and families. Our lives are way more boring than what is presented in the media.

(b) They hate people who are ‘flamboyant’ and just want us to be like everybody else for their comfort.

This is interesting. Conservatives do hate the flamboyant types the most—and that goes for both feminine men and masculine women. They don’t hate gays as much if we look like everybody else, but when we are noticeably gay, they object. They want to normalize and standardize humans and make us all the same. What puzzles me is—why would you want everyone to be the same? Don’t you think the world is a more colorful place when there is diversity? Do you want things to be more boring? I just don’t get it. Even if there is a ‘normal’ way to be, I don’t see why everyone has to be that way.

Here’s a couple of comments I do want to quote:

“Like asexuality, homosexuality is a non-helpful trait that some people have, like an extra toe. It has no evolutionary advantage.”

What’s up with these people and their obsession with breeding? I was surprised that someone considers asexuality another deviance. I think it’s good for society for there to be some humans who don’t reproduce. People who reproduce have to spend large amounts of money and resources on raising their kids, and people who don’t reproduce are free to do other things. It’s good that not all of us are focused on reproduction, since there are lots of other important aspects to life. And as I said above, we are facing an overpopulation problem. It’s actually long past due we stop breeding so much.

“As a Christian, I believe that God created us for heterosexual marriage. He created man and woman, and called it good. Heterosexual sex is a gift from God, it is something that we should cherish and delight in. Throughout the Bible, it is clear that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s original gift. It is something immoral. When I see a homosexual couple, it makes me sad. This is not because they sicken me, disgust me, or because I think that somehow I am better than them. It saddens me because they are partaking in an act that is the very perversion of the good gift that God granted us.”

Again…these people literally believe our entire existence is for nothing but breeding. It’s so weird, do these people not have anything in their lives besides their kids? Do they not have hobbies or careers? Do they not have friends, and holidays, and vacations, and favorite TV shows, sports, anything? There are tons of fulfilling and worthwhile things that people do besides get married and have kids.

This woman thinks that hetero sex is a “gift from God”— well I feel the same way about my own sex life! I think that my sex life is a gift from the Goddess. I thank my lucky stars that I am a lesbian so that I can have the best sex any woman can have, and without the risk of pregnancy. I feel sorry for straight women, since they have way fewer orgasms and have to put up with all sorts of bullshit from their male partners!

I guess what I’ve learned from this experiment is that anti-gay bigots today are still obsessed with sameness and normalcy, still obsessed with breeding, and still really ignorant about what gays and lesbians are actually like. Bunch of idiots!

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37 thoughts on “Reading anti-gay comments

        • Makes me wonder why she was so vehement about it, though. Did a gay person poison her dog or something? That was some way over the top, foaming at the mouth hate that goes well beyond the usual ‘it’s just not natural’ or ‘it’s a sin’ stuff people usually say. That was some Westboro-grade homophobia. Jeez!

          Liked by 1 person

        • Hell yeah! My thoughts exactly. No matter your values, beliefs, faith….humans are humans and #equalityisequality
          Someone reading that post could start to hate who they are….maybe thats why suicide rates are so high for the LGBT+ community.
          I hate a bully and that is why i didnt tag her in the post! You get no credit from me.
          It makes me so angry, which is why i stopped reading posts like that….i can’t help but to comment….

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  1. Number 7. How thoroughly and completely can people lie? Marriage benefits the patriarchal state by providing an environment that isolates women from each other to keep them powerless, and enslaves them to men so that men can easily be fed, clothed and serviced. Lesbianism prevents these benefits from going to men, and threatens to empower women.

    Liked by 5 people

    • That’s a good way of looking at it. Lesbians are perceived as a threat by refusing to participate in being victimized thusly, gay men in turn by being perceived as choosing the wrong targets. All relationships are perceived as abusive and it’s man = subject and woman = object. That is how this culture works.

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      • All relationships are perceived as abusive? By whom? Do you really think that? I’m actually asking and not being argumentative. Your statement is surprising to me. Is that something you’ve encountered a lot in straight couples you’ve seen or know? I don’t know anyone whose husband acts entitled and narcissistic like that.

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        • You misunderstood me. I’m talking about the cultural enforcement of gendered roles in a hierarchal patriarchal culture. I didn’t mean to imply no one resists this enforcement, just that it exists as a constant backdrop. And constant noise. See advertising. See porn.

          Liked by 2 people

        • I’d rather not see porn, thanks. But I get your point now. We’re bombarded all the time with those images and messages of be perfect, be available, be happy about it. Ugh

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  2. As the sister of a pastor who has said he would never marry a gay couple, I’ve thought a lot about how my brother would be willing to bestow his god’s divine blessing on a straight couple but not a gay couple. The only conclusion I can come to is that, regardless of the reasons listed above, people like him just don’t think we’re deserving. We’re lesser human beings, more imperfect than any straight couple. That’s fascism right there, though they’d never admit it.

    We know the greater societal reasons behind it, how homosexuality undermines the patriarchy, but on a personal level for so many anti-gay people, it’s a mentality of “We’re superior to those who are different from us.” Then they try to make up all these ridiculous and groundless reasons why.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Promoting the “heterosexual people think homosexual people are inferior” trope works to divide people. I’m not saying you’re doing this, just that this is its function. The patriarchal culture treats women as inferior generally. Lesbians are considered as noncompliant, but not really any more inferior than hetero women. Just more of a threat. But “homosexual people are inferior” and “it’s catching” work as justifications for promoting such divisiveness.

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      • For the record, I didn’t say “heterosexual people think homosexual people are inferior.” I said anti-gay people think homosexual people are inferior. That’s a distinct category from all straight people, and in my experience anti-gay people are also commonly racist and extremely sexist – you can’t look at the Westboro Baptist Church, or any of the big “American Family” organizations, and not see a bunch of wealthy white fascists.

        I don’t know where you’re reading “it’s catching” into my observations at all. Though racism, sexism and anti-gay sentiments are pervasive and there is always going to be a section of society who think they are superior to others, cultural norms are driven in a great part through the media, and there have been huge strides in the acceptance of all kinds of diversity in the last 20 years alone. But for those left behind in their beliefs of their superiority, I don’t see anything “divisive” about calling them what they are, especially not in this day and age.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I really think it’s fear, not superiority. They might tell themselves that they’re superior, but really they’re thinking, ‘it’s not what I’m used to, it’s so different, change is bad, if gay people are allowed to get married I can’t predict what will happen’ (spoiler alert, gay people will get married.) They really believe the whole, destroy the fabric of society thing, which is dumb because marriage is a huge part of the fabric of society. So wanting to get married would be good, you’d think. And the other half of that is the 50% divorce rate. People aren’t getting divorced because of anything the gay community is doing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • There are homosexuals who are against same-sex marriage because they see it as assimilation, as validating patriarchal structures. However, it does confer some significant rights that can’t easily be replicated by other kinds of contracts, I guess, because “marriage” is used in the language of the law all over the place. And it is one thing not to want to participate in something and quite another to be forbidden to.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I agree. I may not really want to get married, but it’s good to have the option available. Marriage does confer a lot of rights that are hard to replicate without an extensive team of lawyers and considering that lesbians have a high poverty rate…

          And even for a lesbian couple with money, it’s categorically unequal if same-sex marriage is illegal so you need the lawyer team, but your hetero friends can just pay the $25 for the marriage license.

          Marriage is a lot better than what a lot of same-sex couples had to do in the past, which was adult adoption. It made it easier to leave property to your S.O. but that was only because your S.O. was now legally your son or daughter.

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      • While they may be afraid of gay people (or women or minorities) dismantling it, the reason they fear is because they do believe their sexist, racist, patriarchal system *is* superior to any alternatives. If they didn’t believe that they would have nothing to fear.

        Hanging out with progressive Millennials has been an eye-opener of difference to me. For whatever reason, many of them have no attachment at all to the “traditional” way of doing things, and are incredibly open-minded and unafraid of any kind of difference. The kind of rhetoric in this blog post is ridiculous to them because they place little to no value on so many of those things. I hope society keeps loosening up and turning that way, evolving, as it were. The old values of the old social structures will eventually wear away in time; we just have to be cautious of the construction of new ones.

        Liked by 1 person

        • What are the alternatives? That’s the uncertainty. We all keep hearing about ‘dismantle The Patriarchy’ which s all well and good but what alternatives have been presented? Socialism? That’s got Patriarchy in its roots as well. Anarchy? That’ll end up as some kind of Patriarchy too.

          Incredibly open-minded and unafraid of any kind of difference as long as it’s a superficial one. Who you sleep with, what you look like are just fine. Different ideas and ways of doing things are met with outright hostility. Just try being a Republican speaker, no not even that because everybody hates Republicans. Try being even an old-school feminist, on a college campus and see how open-minded these millennials are.

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  3. Please don’t think that the outdated and hateful views in these articles represent the views all Christians. I’m sure the authors would claim that they are “true” Christians and anyone who doesn’t agree with them is not a real Christian, but they would be as wrong about that as they seem to be about most other things.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Studies have shown that children benefit most (grades, health and mental well being) from a stable, two parent *married* household. There was little or No difference in the outcome for kids with same sex parents vs. opposite sex parents in 74/79 studies. It’s the mindset of strong committment to home and family that gives the most benefit to children (and your spouse too!) so those arguments do not hold up.

    I always wondered did these people (who are so morally superior about evils of ‘The Gay Lifestyle’) got the irony of being against marriage for gay couples? If by ‘lifestyle’ they mean having many partners, it’s not like there aren’t plenty of straight folks who sleep around.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s hardly surprising. Raising children uses up a lot of time and energy. Doing it alone is much harder. Having a parenting partner to share the work, to bounce ideas off, to be there when the child has conflicts with one parent so she doesn’t feel so at the mercy of a single parent, to share in protecting the child from harm; these are all such good things. Extended families are even better. None of these things have anything to do with sex or sexual orientation. It’s really more about the function of tribe in a child’s upbringing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Plus, if both parents have a job, there is a higher chance of financial stability and it’s more likely that if one of the parents loses a job the other can pick up the slack for a while. It’s more difficult going from single-income to no income than from two-income to one-income.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. “Like asexuality, homosexuality is a non-helpful trait that some people have, like an extra toe. It has no evolutionary advantage.”

    … do they hate people with extra toes, too? Do they refuse to marry people with extra toes? Sell cake to them?
    If not, why not?

    Besides, I do think homosexuality does have an evolutionary advantage. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be so common – rather more common than extra toes.

    It has been scientifically proven that children are more likely to survive if they have a living grandmother. The theory is that this is the reason why the human female lives long past her reproductive age.
    A lesbian aunt, or an asexual aunt, would provide the exact same advantages, or even greater ones, by having lots of resources to spend on her nieces and nephews. In a world without contraception, where a heterosexual couple can easily have as many as fourteen children, this was/is a massive advantage.

    Those reproduction-focused Christians never seem to consider that lots of pregnancies and births do not automatically mean many adult children, it can just as easily mean lots of babies that don’t survive the next winter. Because not everyone is as rich as those who have so much money they refuse to sell things to homosexual couples.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “Those reproduction-focused Christians never seem to consider that lots of pregnancies and births do not automatically mean many adult children, it can just as easily mean lots of babies that don’t survive the next winter. ”

      Not anymore thanks to modern medicine. You want to read some scary shiz? Google “quiverfull.”

      “Because not everyone is as rich as those who have so much money they refuse to sell things to homosexual couples.”

      Ok, so I”m probably going to piss you off but that’s truly not my goal in responding. I genuinely want hear your (and other posters’) reasoning in this thinking because I can’t get my head around it. So here goes…

      Why would anyone want to buy a cake from someone who hates them instead of going somewhere else that’s friendlier? And why should there be a law that forces private business owners to make a product or perform a service that directly conflicts with their beliefs?

      Shoe on the other foot scenario: If you owned a bakery, would you make a cake for Westboro Baptist church with their famous slogan on it? Or even just a plain cake to be served at one of their rallies? (I keep bringing them up sorry! They’re the most awful people I can think of.)

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      • I wouldn’t try to buy a cake from someone homophobic, I would just go somewhere else. I think some people are just outraged at the incredibly bigoted attitude that some people are not worthy of selling a cake to and think the company deserves to be publicly shamed with a newspaper article and social media hate campaign. The whole things is really tacky though, and sounds a lot like the liberal desire to perform the act of “being offended” on behalf of everybody (virtue signaling.) Personally I never buy cake; I make my own!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, and I should have added that I don’t think the law should force a bakery to make a cake that they don’t want to make. That’s incredibly stupid. Certain things are human rights—like housing, food, water, basic safety, etc, but bakery cake is not a human right.

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        • Yeah no one should be forced the court to serve someone they do not wish to, but if they go outta business for being bigots that’s just a consequence for their homophobia 😉

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  6. Pingback: The problem with gay marriage – New Honesty

  7. “If people on the right are homophobic when they equate homosexuality with pedophilia, incest, and bestiality, then people on the ‘left’ who say these things should be considered homophobic too!”
    ^^This

    I used to think number 9 was silly, but considering all the left-wing people saying those things nowadays, I have to admit sometimes the conservatives have a point.

    We do need to speak out whenever left-wing nutjobs say that we must support those things, or use us as an excuse to support those things. I’m sick and tired of lesbianism (well, more like “queerness”) being used as a justification for a group of mostly heterosexuals and their disturbing fetishes.

    I’ve had people tell me that I have “no right” to think that BDSM is unhealthy or that the Duggar family is an insane cult because people have judged me negatively for being a lesbian.

    The kinkster bullshit pisses me off because it’s more appropriation and one of the points of our early civil rights movements was that we weren’t sexual deviants.

    I don’t get the obsession with breeding either. I’m childfree and an anti-natalist. Pregnancy is so bad for women. Even with modern technology, it’s still safer to get a (legal) abortion than carry a pregnancy to term. Not to mention all the chronic health risks.

    And yes, humans needed to stop breeding so much years ago.

    I can’t speak about the people who wrote the article, but I know a lot of women my age who regretted having children and instead of admitting that they try to bully others for not making the same mistakes. It’s a “how dare you not suffer with us” kind of thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I just had an article of mine cross-posted on another side. Outside of the ‘home’ of my blog I received a lot of homophobic, mostly religious commentary. I now know that it is impossible to reasonably talk with these people; they choose what they believe in no matter what commen sense says, bend scientific results any way they see fit, disregard anything ‘personal’ you have to say and rather stay in their simple comfort zone.

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  9. It continues to amaze me that people are still able to justify their intolerance to those who are different. It would be easy to call these people stupid or ignorant, but I feel that the true reason behind their bigotry is their fear of having to acknowledge that they are wrong. :/

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  10. I looooved this article! Just one consideration about the fourth point (gay lifestyle and blah blah blah): a lifestyle is the result of the individual traits and the environment he/she lives in. In other words, if I am female (my trait) and I live in US (my environment) I will adopt different habits and behaviours than my counterpart living in Saudi Arabia or Japan (Not saying that one if better or worse than another. It is just a statement). Environment is intended in a general sense of the term and it can go to a very local scale: if I am gay and I live in the Bronx I’ll develop different habits than my friend who lives in Manhattan OR if I have been raised in a christian family I will develop different behaviours than my neighbor who was raised muslim. Daily habits and behaviours lead to a lifestyle. Therefore, I would say that there ARE indeed gay lifestyles. Not A gay lifestyle, but many. And, of course, no generalizations. First, with gay i mean gay and that’s all. Not lesbian, not transgender, not bisexual. Different sexual orientations (and genders) lead to different habits in coping with the environment and therefore, different lifestyles. Secondly, lifestyles change in space and time (read “Global Gay” by the sociologist Frédéric Martel, he provided examples of gay lifestyles from all around the world). Third, thanks god (or thank your imaginary friend if you want) there are a lot of exceptions even in the same environment. So, to conclude this reply (that wasn’t meant to be a book but I got carried away), gay lifestyles do exist and they are diverse. And people should be scared of the gay lifestyles in the same way they are scared of vegetarian lifestyles, or student lifestyles. Period.

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