This amusing anecdote has been making the rounds. A site called “Ask A Manager” offers advice on how to deal with workplace issues. In one article, a non-binary person asks a question about how to deal with a person who has an issue with being called by gender neutral pronouns.
“I’m non-binary, and I have come out in both my work and my personal life. I started a full-time job after I finished college around the same time I began coming out. Everyone at work has been cool except for one person.
“Since I came out, I have been addressing people as gender-neutral [ze, hir, mx.] I do this because there are others who are non-binary like me, but they may not be out yet and I want to be respectful and make them feel safe. The one person from my work who is not cool with me being non-binary told me to address her using female pronouns. I’m not misgendering this person, I’m using gender-neutral pronouns, not incorrect ones. However, this person corrects me every time. No one else has corrected me or said anything. This person says they respect my pronouns (true) and I need to respect theirs. I thought this person was transgender and I didn’t want to offend or upset if this was the case, but when I asked they said are not, they are cisgendered.
I went to my team lead about this, but my team lead said this person is not doing anything wrong and just because they want to be addressed with female pronouns does not make them against non-binary people. I’m thinking of talking to my manager or going to HR if that doesn’t work. This person makes me uncomfortable. What should I say? When I talk to my manager, should I bring up the fact that others may also feel uncomfortable or should I only focus my own discomfort?”
Has anyone else noticed that the same people who shout “MISGENDERING IS LITERAL VIOLENCE” seem to take no issue at all with misgendering people who aren’t trans? They have no problem with calling woman-identified masculine lesbians “closeted trans men” and they have no problem calling all sorts of women “cis” even though we don’t identify with the feminine gender role that was assigned to us. But call a trans person by the correct pronouns for their sex and you are “LITERALLY KILLING” them.
This non-binary person is calling a woman by gender neutral pronouns even though she identifies as a woman and uses female pronouns. Why isn’t this “misgendering”? WTF.
Apparently, this isn’t a matter of a nonbinary person trying to punish a coworker for being a “TERF,” because this woman respects the nonbinary person’s pronouns. It’s the nonbinary person not respecting her pronouns. And the nonbinary person wants to go to human resources to get someone else in trouble for what THEY are doing.
It’s time for another Liz Lemon over-the-top eye roll.