Big Boo Butch banned from a lesbian site

Please read this post by Big Boo Butch on being banned from a butch/femme site for “transphobia.” She writes about how this site used to be for butches and femmes but over time the trans borg took over and by the time she was kicked out, it looked more like a FtM/femme site. Big Boo wrote about how ridiculous it is for a supposedly lesbian site to cater to trans people instead of lesbians, and of course I’m going to rant about this too.

I get so angry when formerly lesbian spaces become no longer for lesbians when everybody decides to identify as something other than a woman. First of all, it’s stupid that women ever identify as not-women, because, you know, reality exists, and women are women. Secondly, if you are such a special snowflake that your “identity” makes you “not a woman” (despite your female body), then get the hell out of a space meant for women. Don’t try to take it over and make it a space for special snowflakes instead of for women. Women are allowed our own spaces and we don’t have to be inclusive of any of these clowns who choose not to believe the facts of human reproductive anatomy.

I get angry when women decide their degree of masculinity or androgyny makes them something other than a woman. All women are women, regardless of what kind of outfit or haircut they have on, and the idea that only feminine women are women is called sexism.

I also get angry when lesbians who identify as trans men want to have their cake and eat it too. If they think they are men, then what are they doing on a lesbian-only site? And if they are on a lesbian-only site, why do they want to be called men? Get your story straight, people! Which is it? Doesn’t the cognitive dissonance hurt, when you want to simultaneously be a lesbian and a “man”?

And another thing. Why are the femmes on this site putting up with this? I’m not putting up with butches calling themselves men for even one second. Butches are women, and they are particularly hot and sexy women, and they are the ones femmes love. Femmes love butches as women and we are lesbians, therefore we are not interested in men. The only reason I can think of that a femme would ever be with an FtM is because she is homophobic and wants to be seen as straight, but even that theory sounds pretty far-fetched. I would never call my female partner a man, I would never call her “he,” I would never pretend I was straight or bi when I only love women. If lesbians who hang out on a lesbian site decide they’d rather be men then they should get kicked out. First they should be told that it’s homophobic to claim that lesbians are really men, and then they should be told that if they cannot proudly call themselves lesbians then they don’t belong in lesbian space.

I’d be super compassionate toward them if they identified as lesbians struggling to deal with body hatred or butch shame, but not when they start lying and claiming that these inner struggles make them inherently male. That’s a load of BULLSHIT.

It’s hard for butches and femmes who haven’t had their brains sucked out by the trans cult to find anywhere to go. Some of us find refuge among radical feminists, but sadly the radfems sometimes believe that butch and femme are a BDSM role play situation that deliberately and artificially reenacts heterosexual power dynamics, and they don’t always listen to us when we tell them we are expressing our actual personalities and not imitating anything. I’m going to have to write more on that another day.

In this era of lesbian spaces being erased to make room for every identity under the sun, those of us who actually know what a lesbian is are cast to the margins. It’s so simple, people. A lesbian is a female homosexual. That’s it!


13 thoughts on “Big Boo Butch banned from a lesbian site

  1. If Big Boo is referring to Butch/Femme Matchmaker, this has irked me for years. As a butch, it totally deflates my identity to be lumped in with women doing the dude thing, with pics and profiles smug about their snowflake manhood. But some femmes willingly include transdudes in the preferences along with butch women, so they are complicit in the erasure as well. By the way, in terms of my preferences, any femme also looking for a transdud if definitely a woman I will not date, period.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Purple Sage: Totally agree with what you have written. We need to set our boundaries and to tell people who transgress them to piss right off. Lesbians are female homosexuals.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is so frustrating and depressing! I’ve mentioned one of my lesbian friends is now separated from her wife and with an FTM, which remains just as confusing and bizarre to me as it was when I discovered this over the summer. While I’ve never outright asked her if she’s femme, I wouldn’t be surprised if she said she were, since she presents in that manner. Her ex-wife also seems like she could be a butch, with her very short hair and “men’s clothes” like suits. I never particularly thought of them as being in a butch-femme relationship, but it’s quite possible they were. Now I wonder if part of the reason for their split was this partnering with an FTM. Why would a lesbian want to start a relationship with a woman who’s taking hormones and undergoing surgeries to try to resemble a man?

    Liked by 2 people

      • I’ve read/seen a lot of women who’s partners have gone FTM to spout out it’s the love not the gender. Still the FTMs often take on the dominant role, the hyper male.


  4. “If you are such a special snowflake that your “identity” makes you “not a woman” (despite your female body), then get the hell out of a space meant for women.”

    That’s right! I think the reason that they stick around the lesbian site is to suck up the attention. They know that on a site full of lesbians, everyone will be placating out of fear of appearing “rude” or worse “transphobic” so they hang out there to get the attention. They know that most het women aren’t going to put up with their crap. The same goes for gay men in the case of ftms who are het or bi women who are fetishizing gay men. So, they bully lesbians because we are an easy target.

    There’s the ego and narcissism factor too, but I suppose to be fair it’s easy to become egotistic and narcissistic when you’ve successfully bullied others into playing make-believe with you even though you’re a god-damned adult. I find it disturbing and anti-intellectual to the extreme that Big Boo Butch is considered “not safe” because of her opinions expressed outside that website; opinions that she expressed without threatening to harm anyone. (And it’s it a complete mindscrew that anyone, especially lesbians and other women who express even the slightest criticism of the trans cult are considered violent and literal murderers, and yet when we get rape and death threats for our views, that’s a-okay.)

    As for me, I am a lesbian but I would never want to be in a relationship with another woman who is so anti-woman and anti-lesbian that she would rather pretend to be one of our oppressors than be a woman or a lesbian. Men as a group are the enemies of all women, especially lesbians.

    I would have sympathy for lesbians having body imagine issues and dealing with butch hatred. Most of us have been there at least with the body image thing. However, I try the line when it comes to denying biological reality because of your special snowflake idenity.


  5. Yes, this makes me angry! These are lesbians who decide to opt-out of womanhood, either by becoming FtM or the super-special non-binary, genderqueer etc., basically trying to opt-out of female oppression and lesbian oppression in particular perhaps, and yet still want to have access to the community and solidarity they are shitting all over by their refusal to actually declare themselves the thing that they are, and take the hits along with the rest of us that lesbians, especially, are subject to from both the left and the right currently. And not only that, they often want to be centred in those communities, and to suck up the attention and resources of those lesser ‘cis’ lesbians because their special trans oppression makes them so much more deserving. It’s so utterly individualistic and selfish.


  6. Agree. Checking out butch/femme sites, I’m assaulted by FTMs, doing their best to appear like men, with splotchy facial hair and plump bods. I can’t imagine a true femme interested, because the whole dynamic is woman to woman based. A former lesbian swaggering around acting like the enemy, is, frankly, gross and attention seeking.


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