A gloomy Christmas

It’s that time of year again, when we are forced to visit our biological families and buy even more cheap crap from China than usual to support a consumerist holiday that may have once had something to do with Christianity. For those of us who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, gender nonconforming, or the only leftist from a family of conservatives, this capitalist holiday can be particularly irritating.

As you may have noticed, this is not a warm and fuzzy Christmas post—it’s a bitter, gloomy, and depressing Christmas post. If you are experiencing a magical holiday full of wonder and joy then you’d be best advised to get back to your eggnog and wassailing and ignore this post altogether.

It’s always hard to be the only gay or the only leftist in a family. When people say stupid shit like “Why do the gays have to flaunt it all the time?” or “Damn union thugs are destroying our businesses” you can either yell and scream or try to reason or you can get angry and leave, but they’ll never change, and what’s even worse, you can’t get away from them because they’re your family. As a child, Christmasses with this bunch were fun times with great food and presents, but as an adult, it finally becomes apparent just how evil they really are. If it were up to them, there’d be no social safety net at all, leading to much more poverty. Merry fucking Christmas!

This year, sadly, I fear it’s even worse than usual for us in North America, because the United States of Idiocy just elected Shitface as president, and American liberals have become an embarrassment to us all. Liberals are completely removed from reality right now and have nothing to offer anyone anymore other than a million different identities you can try on. What on earth can leftists even say to their family members anymore? People who are supposedly on the left (although if you ask me, they’re not on the left at all) are no-platforming anyone who deviates even slightly from their insane party line and shouting at people who attempt to make presentations, they’re forcing everyone to pretend that biological sex doesn’t exist and that we need to refer to everyone by their subjective, inexplicable, internal feelings, and they’re doing absolutely nothing to help the working class. At this point, if someone says to me that Liberals are insane I’m just going to have to agree. How depressing is that!

I can’t really say what the Liberals/Left should be doing, because human civilization is such a mess that it’s impossible to even know where to start. I read Deep Green Resistance this year, and I’m inclined to agree that civilization itself needs to go. But try suggesting at Christmas dinner that what we really need to improve “the economy” is to end the economy altogether, and you’ll be laughed right out of the room before the turkey has even been served. The only thing I can say about what Liberals/Leftists should be doing is getting their heads out of their asses and facing actual reality. That would be a good place to start, and then we could have an honest conversation about how to make things better for the working class, women, racial minorities, and LGBTs within this shit show of a world humans have created.

Now don’t take this rant to mean that I’m not on the Left anymore. I certainly am, although it’s hard to tell what that means. There is not much of an organized Left in North America, it’s really just the two wings of the Capitalist Party whether you’re in Canada or the U.S.A. I still care about human rights, equality, the environment, eradicating poverty, and feminism, and I always will.

The election of Shitface this year brought with it a massive unleashing of hate and bigotry, mostly directed toward racial minorities, but also toward women, LGBTs and leftists. It has been shocking to see the KKK out and about in broad daylight in the U.S.A. How can this be happening? But that’s the result of electing a racist shitface. All the other racist shitfaces feel empowered to let their racism come out in the open, after having at least partially hidden it for a while. And these shitfaces are going to sit down to Christmas dinner soon and gloat about the defeat of the Democrats and the rise of the neo-Nazis. I fear for those feminists, leftists, and queers who are on their way right now to visit their Trump-supporting families.

I wish I had some advice for how to deal with it. Relaxation techniques? Prepared statements? Public Service Announcements? Ear plugs? Alcohol? Drugs? Complete refusal to visit one’s family? I don’t know. If you are the “rainbow sheep” in your family, and you’re dealing with this right now, feel free to rant in the comments. I can’t say I’ll have any constructive advice, but I can offer my condolences.

I won’t be writing any new posts until the New Year, so feel free to consider this an open thread until then.

Happy holidays to all my union thugs, militant homosexuals and gender freaks! May we at least drive our conservative family members as crazy as they drive us.


13 thoughts on “A gloomy Christmas

  1. I’m the matriarch around here, so what I say goes. Also I do 90% of the cooking, since all my grown children who are married and have families find themselves unable to host any meal of consequence, preferring that I do all the work.

    My married gay daughter (who is also an aspiring labor lawyer, for the union side of course) will be with her wife’s family in Connecticut, but if they were here the rules are the same.

    No politics. None. Not even if you think everyone agrees with you, because I happen to know for a fact that they don’t. We have come together as a family to celebrate Christmas, this is not a political rally. Not even if you think that slanging on some group is perfectly OK. Gays, transgenders, Trump supporters, Democrats, the rules are the same for everyone. Don’t do it. If you start up I will shut you down. You are entitled to your opinion, and I am entitled to see that you don’t express it.

    There are plenty of lovely things to talk about. Grandchildren, puppies, the weather (it’s been raining in California!), even that we love each other, which we do. For the kids, what loot they got, they can talk about that. (The adults lost interest in the loot long ago.)

    Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday of Your Choice, whatever!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I’ll sign up to being a union official, if not quite a thug.

    On the family xmas thing, we told our parents we weren’t prepared to do the family come here come here thing. So we stayed at home and went to neither his nor mine. Cracking decision. Try it. It’s our life. Our xmases and any other holiday should be as we choose.

    Sadly, it seems everything else you say is spot on. The world is imploding.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. As someone who left her biological family behind decades ago, I can say that for the reasons you mention, and a few more, it was the sanest thing I ever did. For some people the whole, ‘home for Christmas/Thanksgiving/whatever’ works, for others it doesn’t.

    Ya gotta go where your heart is. 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Just because people are family, you don’t have to associate with them. You are allowed to protect yourself from toxic people. You pick your friends…you didn’t pick your family. I always told my ex that I expect more from family…I don’t give them a pass just because they’re related.

    I’m facing my fourth Christmas completely alone. All my family is long dead and I have no friends, so we all have our own crosses to bear. I’m going to do something fun on my two days off. Last night, I went to a Solstice concert alone and had a good time. One of the performers, Liz Story, was there even though her dad died that morning. Puts things in perspective.

    I suggest taking a break from the news. Constantly getting stressed about something that can’t be changed just gives you high blood pressure. I’ve stopped watching the news…I was yelling at the TV and giving myself an ulcer. I will protect and care for those around me and the rest of the world will have to sort itself out. I don’t possess the power or the money to influence society, but I have the power to help my neighbors and care for my pets and the critters that live on my land.

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Christmas probably works best when it’s the most structured, and is not just about eating and presents and arguing and watching television or engaging with one’s phone.

    You can play games, you can make things together, including music. You can go on outings. Engage in acts of charity. But it has to be planned in advance a bit, and somebody has to be in charge to at least some extent.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hear, hear! I’ll drink to that. I’m definitely the rainbow sheep or possibly the scapegoat right now. Feeling the doom and gloom pretty intensely. Hoping all the wicked folks are visited by three spirits that make them change their ways or Krampus, if they decide not to.

    “If you’re the only gay…” made me think of one of my favorite shows. Enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m lucky to have a mostly liberal family, minus maybe an ancient uncle that married in and a weirdo cousin. It’ll be boring and there won’t be much eggnog or wassailing, but at least there won’t be fighting.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thanksgiving was my holiday with family. And even then, we kept it to the more immediate members, so my uncle the trumphead wasn’t there. It was still frustrating. My dad has suddenly discovered all kinds of stuff I’ve been telling him for more than a decade. So he lectured me on it. To give my brother credit, he did try to intervene, informing my dad that I tend to require my friends to be aware and active on economic justice issues. It went in one ear and out the other, so my brother pulled out a boardgame and distracted everyone. He can occasionally be a male privileged pain in the ass, but my brother does try.

    So instead, I’m spending Christmas taking care of a developmentally disabled guy who loves Christmas with all the fervor of a kindergartener. I have plans on how to distract and keep him happy. The presents (ranging from a new pillow that he desperately needs to a toy dump truck made of steel that I’m reasonably certain he won’t be able to destroy quickly to a bunch of crayons that I know will be destroyed quickly.

    Also, having done so, I can testify that disappearing off the family radar for awhile can lead to them learning they can’t take you for granted.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Never commented before but I agree with you so much. Have a string of hearts/lessthan3s: <3<3<3<3<3
    yesterday my father showed me a clip of some pastor "marriage expert" dude, his video was essentially "BRAIN SEX IS REAL MEN AND WOMEN ARE SO DIFFERENT HURRDURR". The only almost reasonable thing he said was "What women really look for in men, is another woman!! lol" (to which i say to these woman; date another woman instead of spending all your time agonizing over how much you hate each other. straight people amirite?)
    But yes, being the only gay/leftie is what I'm feeling so hard right now. I'm not out yet, in a pretty rich/conservative family and the "grownups" are having so much drama over money that I refuse to be involved with.
    Sort of missing last christmas, where we celebrated by hosting a dinner at a refugee home. I'm moving away by new year's so I'm resolving to not have a crazy christmas like this again. My father is trying to get me to help around the house today, I've decided to only cook my own food (vegetarian, won't have anything to eat otherwise) but I refuse to clean up his messes for when the other guests arrive.
    so I guess the best case scenario is for a boring Christmas. won't be entirely drama-free either -_-

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s