The female orgasm: still just as mysterious as ever

I couldn’t help clicking on an article on I Fucking Love Science called “The Female Orgasm Is Not What You Think It Is.” This is rather clickbaity; there is not really any new revelation about female orgasms in the article aside from the fact that a new scientific paper reports that women can achieve orgasm from stimulation to a few other body parts besides the obvious. But this was a fun article and I’m always down for a conversation about female orgasms. What could be a more fun topic, really? (Contains TMI).

“In terms of ladyfolk, it’s been generally agreed that there are three ways to achieve one: stimulation of the vagina, stimulation of the clitoris, or both. There are plenty of nuances to this in terms of timescales, pace, and ability to achieve orgasm in the first place, but those are the basics. However, a new study published in the journal Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology by researchers from Concordia University in Montreal, Canada, has highlighted that some women can probably achieve these biological fireworks by being physically stimulated in several, previously underappreciated erogenous zones. These extra special areas include the lips, nipples, ears, neck, fingers, and toes.”

This makes sense to me. I’ve heard women say they can orgasm from nipple stimulation alone, and hell, Jack Monroe can apparently orgasm from stimulation to the wrist, so why not? It took science until 2016 to actually publish in a paper that women can climax from something other than vaginal and clitoral stimulation, but I’m pretty sure that women have been doing it since the dawn of time. But despite this fancy new research, science still can’t pin down exactly what a female orgasm consists of.

“Based on a huge review of the scientific literature, the team concluded that women have “a remarkable variety of orgasmic experiences,” as noted in a statement. They highlight that “orgasms don’t have to come from one site, nor from all sites,” and that it (clearly) varies greatly between each individual woman. Significantly, the research from McGill and Concordia Universities defines an orgasm as something fairly subjective, an experience entirely dependent on what a woman understands an orgasm to consist of. Rather than just being a counterpart to the relatively straightforward male orgasm, they posit that the female orgasm is essentially a plethora of experiences. The most commonly accepted medical definition involves the contraction of genital muscles, accompanied by a rush of endorphins and, sometimes, ejaculate. However, the key point that most focus on is the “rush of intense sexual pleasure,” which does lend itself to being quite subjective depending on what individuals experience at the time. Indeed, it appears the objective of this new study is to highlight that the female orgasm has no such concrete definition.”

Yep, the female orgasm still defies explanation and baffles scientists, even as we women continue to have them. I agree with the definition proposed above, that a female orgasm is a rush of intense sexual pleasure accompanied by contraction of the genital muscles. I also agree that the female orgasm is a variety of different experiences. Mine are not all the same, they can be as soft as a whisper or they can be so powerful I cry. Although my muscles usually contract, they don’t always. I don’t know why that is. They’re definitely all unique and it’s hard to even describe how they differ. They actually change according to where I am in my menstrual cycle, which is interesting.

“This is a reference to the evolutionary enigma of the human female orgasm. Many have concluded that it serves no direct reproductive purpose, and thus it isn’t clear why it evolved in the first place. Some have suggested that it encourages pair-bonding between partners, but a recent study suggested that it was once the key biological trigger required for ovulation to take place. Earlier in our evolutionary history, both the male and female orgasm were required to begin ovulation. We’ve since evolved a different form of reproduction, and the female orgasm has taken on a more pleasure and bonding-based secondary role – and, as this new review showcases, orgasm-induced happiness comes in many forms.”

Silly menz with their silly “sexology” and “evolutionary psychology.” They don’t understand the point of a female orgasm, and they also think that women who don’t get off on being pronged by a dude are “frigid.” (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) I’ll tell ya the point of a female orgasm: to bring a female sexual pleasure, duh! That is in fact a worthy enough reason on its own, there doesn’t need to be any more to it than that. Because of our orgasmic capacity, being in a female body is fantastic and enjoyable. We deserve to have something good seeing as we have to bleed every month and occasionally gestate a baby. The female orgasm is nature’s way of saying “Thanks.”

Notice this article didn’t say anything about women having orgasms by ejaculating out their lady sticks? Science is so twanzphobic!! I wonder how many laydees were LITERALLY KILLED by this article? We’ll be seeing an uproar of death threats from trans activists toward I Fucking Love Science any minute now, right?

*crickets chirp*

2 thoughts on “The female orgasm: still just as mysterious as ever

  1. “Evolutionary enigma” what bull. These men need to go back and do basic anatomy and embryological development courses. Reproductive anatomy arises from the same types of tissues, and if you are female or male it takes different pathways during the process. What would be the stunning thing is with all of that and that there are analogous tissues in females and males would be if women couldn’t orgasm!

    They’ve got to make it all about men, all the time. Women can’t just have orgasmic capacity just because we are the same species or something like that, men made the orgasm. The fact is it is isn’t rocket science at all (unless you are an male with agenda of course, everything has to revolve around the default humans).

    Nor is the knowledge that people can be stimulated in more places than the the genitals and that is not just limited to women. Perhaps they could stop declaring it a mystery now, and just say that humans are social creatures with complex interactions when it comes to sex and sexuality and ask that we move beyond the paradigm of the male model of sex which seems to solely consist of getting your rocks off as quickly as possible and largely ignoring what your other partner might need or want to get off themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

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