Men hate us

In my last anti-porn article someone made a comment that I “openly hate men.” I was thinking of writing a response to that but I found I didn’t feel like explaining it. Women have been accused of hating men so many times, and it’s been explained so many times that expecting men to stop abusing us doesn’t amount to us “hating” them.

Then I saw this picture yesterday and it’s the perfect illustration of how men openly hate women.

This banner was hung by misogynist frat boys near the University of Cincinnati:


This banner was created to warn (threaten?) women that if they come near they can expect to be given rough blow jobs (which means having a penis shoved down their throats until they gag.) The fact that the text is addressed to a parent of the woman instead of the woman herself makes it even more creepy. The words “your daughter” makes it sound like their target victim is a young woman, presumably a college freshman. The fact that they are addressing this to a parent of a college freshman makes it sound as though the message is addressed to parents (most likely fathers) who are dropping off their freshman daughters at college for the first time. They don’t seem to be the least bit ashamed of communicating to fathers what they will be doing to abuse their daughters. It seems as though they are expecting other men to find this funny.

This banner displays several things:

  • Men are quite proud of their misogyny and their desire to hurt women
  • Men think the abuse women endure in porn is a legitimate thing to do to women
  • Men assume that there will be no negative consequences when they abuse women (and they’re right—just a few days ago Global News reported that only 3% of sexual assault reports in Vancouver result in convictions—and the numbers are similar everywhere else. Men are effectively allowed to abuse women because there are rarely ever negative consequences for them when they do.)
  • Men don’t give a flying fuck about the way they make women feel with their disgusting behavior.

In Germany, where prostitution is legal, billboards like this show up around town:

german ad

(This image is taken from an excellent article by Manuela Schon which is an absolute must-read by the way.)

Can you imagine being a German woman and whenever you leave the house you see billboards advertising pussy for sale? How can you ever develop a sense of self or a healthy relationship with a man when your genitals are literally consumer products that men own and can buy and sell as they please?

It doesn’t matter where you are in the world—men consider women to be commodities that they own and can use however they want. In the so-called “developed” world we create ridiculous amounts of pornography, which is simply prostitution with a camera, and there are large problems with human trafficking (often of teenagers), child abuse, child porn, and intimate partner violence. In other countries, women are literal sex slaves and child brides and are open targets for rape. Men are never ashamed of the way they behave. They call it either “culture” or “religion” or “free speech” or “the woman’s choice” or any number of bullshit excuses without ever feeling an ounce of shame that they’re behaving like monsters from hell.

A father in Australia was put in jail for raping his own daughter from age 11 to 13 and selling her to other men to rape using ads on Craigslist. When he went to jail he said “it was fun while it lasted.”

The youngest convicted rapist is 11 years old. A boy in the U.K raped his sister, aged 9, two times. No doubt he learned this violent behavior from porn, which men around the world defend as “free speech.” The freedom for men to abuse women and to groom young boys into becoming abusers is protected above the freedom of women and girls to be safe from abuse. You can definitely make a case that exposure to pornography is child abuse against boys too. However, since it’s girls on the receiving end of that abuse I’m going to put my energy and compassion toward them.

When someone accuses me of “hating men,” my first reaction is “of course I do.” How can anyone not hate men? Their behavior is so terrible I’d be quite happy to never see another one of them again as long as I live. But you know what you will never see me do? You’ll never see me actually treating men as badly as they treat women. I have no desire to harm anyone—I just want to live in peace without being abused. When I’m accused of hating men, and this goes for all feminists, what we’re usually actually doing is pointing out their terrible behavior and expressing our rage. And when we fantasize about a world without men, most of the time we’re not fantasizing about literally killing them, we just want to get away from them and have some peace.

There are a tiny amount of feminists who advocate for reducing the male population by killing male babies. You’ll notice, however, that they haven’t actually carried out this plan, it’s been limited to just commentary on the Internet, and most feminists don’t agree with this idea. Male babies aren’t generally at risk of anything in the real world except for the grooming and abuse they’ll experience from adult men, and from things like racism, poverty, and violence which are largely perpetrated by men.

I mostly don’t want any men around me because I get so tired of dealing with sexism, mansplaining and macho behavior. But like everyone else in the world, I realize it’s #notallmen, and I do have a couple of male friends in real life who are really fun to drink beer and play cards with. There are about four or five men who read my blog who are pro-feminist and I don’t mind them commenting. Because it’s not about actually hating people on the basis of being male, it’s about hating macho male behavior, and so it follows that if you’re acting like a decent human being then I don’t have a problem with you.

It’s men who openly hate women. They proudly proclaim that hate all the time and act on it whenever they want to, because they like it and they can.


94 thoughts on “Men hate us

  1. What to say? I don’t understand the US male university system. Is it university? Sounds lke playschool. Have to say I’ve not seen that sort of blatant behaviour. Merely, the ones who claimed they had pierced a condom for a mate. Not sure how true that was though. Did they do it through the pack? Want a woman to get pregnant? Ugh. Arseholes. Totally.

    Liked by 3 people

    • If I could I’d find the little shits that made and hung that sign and give them the throttling of their pathetic lives.

      And we wonder why so many young women are “identifying” as male. Can’t imagine why.

      Liked by 5 people

      • You know, this is what pisses me off. It doesn’t matter what offensive abuse is thrown at women, it is just ignored or even laughed at. If it was insulting to blacks or trans or religion there would be an outcry. But women? Nah.

        After all, who wants to be one of the inferior species?

        Liked by 4 people

      • Me too. The only thing I can think of that’s both constructive and legal (pretty sure the law would look dimly on our beating the shit out of the little shits who made the sign) is to try to help the young women who’re going into that environment recognize exactly what’s being signalled there and feel OK about refusing to have anything to do with men who act like that. I didn’t go to an American uni, but from what I’ve seen there seems to be a lot of social pressure on girls to try to impress boys who act like that, as if they can somehow prove that they’re the one girl in a million who’s better than what those boys think girls are. They can’t, and there needs to be a counter force pushing back against that idea and letting them know that they owe boys like that nothing at all and that it’s OK to consider those boys both a threat and unworthy of their time and emotional energy.

        Liked by 4 people

        • “Evil” is too easily seen as “glamorous.” You want to sell “pathetic,” or “lame.”

          It’s not an easy one, and I agree with your comment, though I’d still rather go all Gulabi on ’em. That apparently works.

          Liked by 3 people

        • I think that selling the idea that men like that are pathetic is the long term solution (it’s worked fairly well with PUAs, and will work with MRAs too if we’re consistent enough0. The problem is that most of the women pointing it out in relation to the frat boy types are older, and young women have been trained to disregard anything we say about it as “jealousy”.

          Liked by 4 people

        • As Cassandrakitty says: a threat, unworthy… and psychopaths. That the men who do stuff like that are seriously disturbed. And will probably be in prison before they’re 35.

          I too would like to beat the shit out of them. That’s the measured response you see. 😁 It would be excessive to want to make them gag as they imagine doing to women.

          Liked by 1 person

        • I wish men like this were in prison by age 35! Unfortunately, if they are upper middle class university grads, these males will get away with crimes against women, even women similarly socially situated.

          Liked by 2 people

        • I’ve found that looking men like that in the eye and making a thumb and first finger only an inch or so apart gesture while smiling in a malicious way works well to take the wind out of their sails.

          (I’m sure someone will object to this on the grounds of body shaming or whatever. Don’t care.)

          Liked by 4 people

        • Random but I saw a set of photos of artworks created just like that, by wiping the dust and dirt off cars to create images, and although some of them were really cool looking I still found myself wanting to tell the owners of the cars to wash the damn things. Dust makes me sneeze.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Males depravity towards women and children holds no bounds. The fact that they have the whole of the propaganda ink to manipulate minds into accepting these actual human rights atrocities is deplorable. They have the whole world wrapped up in their complexion and the falsehoods they have been putting out for centuries, all that nonsense about ‘love’ is actually the flip side and pure hatred. Now, with the worldwide web their lies are being blown out of the water. A world free of men sounds very seductive if the alternative is the continuous abuse they have made us suffer since Jesus roam the earth. What’s God got to say about all this madness, one can’t help but ponder on…

    Liked by 8 people

  3. “There are a tiny amount of feminists who advocate for reducing the male population by killing male babies.”

    Really? Didn’t they suggest abortion, i.e. the killing of male fetuses? I mean, I know that according to anti-choicers it is the same, but … if abortions are available, I would assume that feminists would choose that. As you say, feminists don’t want to harm men. And while some might be desperate enough to think about male infanticide in their darkest hours, I don’t think they could do it. Women just don’t hate men enough to do that.

    Unlike men, who hate women enough to promote a culture of femicide, and then some.

    I have no patience for men who accuse women of hating them. It is the other way round, which is obvious to anyone with two functioning brain cells.
    Perhaps they think they don’t hate us because they don’t even see us as people, but as consumable objects.

    As the old joke goes: “Oh yes, my dog loves children … but he’ll also eat chicken.”

    Liked by 7 people

    • Women on Femonade and RadFemHub had some rather open convos for awhile about how to arrange for there to be fewer men. I think you run into trouble from inside the ranks on this one because of mother-son bonding. One approach that isn’t mentioned much is working out how to actually conceive fewer male babies. Male sperm are faster, female sperm live longer, if you were really clear about when you ovulated you ought to be able to tip the balance by not allowing exposure to sperm right at ovulation. Also I think I recall something about centrifuges, but overall I lean towards low-tech methods because men control too much of the technology.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Of course, not having babies at all is a good start. Oh, wait. It’s a woman’s natural role … groan.

        However the idea of fewer irritating male babies is worth a punt. I still go with no babies.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’d have puppies but each to our own. Except I wouldn’t actually breed them because too many dogs and cats to rehome anyway. Way OT! Even more OT, reading a brill futuristic pirate series. Thought of you and Louis 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

        • Having babies is something women do. It’s not innately bad. But if women were completely in charge of women getting pregnant in the first place, overpopulation would not be a problem. It’s driven by a lot of things, and those things in turn are all driven by men trying to control who gets born, to compete over it, among other things.

          Liked by 4 people

        • I have a son and he is the light of my life! I would not trade him for a girl, if I could. Before I learned I was having a boy, I assumed I would prefer a girl. The problem isn’t being conceived and born male or female. The issue is socialization. We need MORE strong feminists to raise sons properly. Our sons may be the ones who influence other men for the better. It is no secret that men do not listen to us, but they may listen to our good sons. My son, raised right, will be a man of honor. We need more of that kind of man!

          Liked by 2 people

        • I’m sorry, but that doesn’t work. A lot of a child’s socialization comes from the media and society. You can’t just decide your boy will be a noble warrior because that’s how YOU want him to grow up. You are only one part of the equation.

          If you think a parent can dictate how their child will grow up, without isolating them completely from society, then you’re delusional.

          Liked by 4 people

        • FT, obviously I realize that parents are not the only influence of their kids, and that is why we need to be the best influence on our kids. Not sure why you felt the need to be insulting. Says more about you than me, frankly.


        • lovetruthcourage, sorry to rain on your parade, but Francois is right. If raising sons right was the way to go, then don’t you think our grandmothers, or the grandmothers of our grandmothers would already have done so?

          That women are responsible for how children turn out is patriarchal propaganda. Yes, you have some measure of influence over your son, but no full control. There’s a thread on mumsnet by a woman who realized that her son is bringing home sexist ideas from school, friends, etc. Maybe she will win. Maybe patriarchy will win. Or maybe none will win and her son will turn out largely neutral – only contributing to the perpetuation of patriarchy by his existence, but not by anything else. I think the latter is most likely.

          Liked by 1 person

        • My grandmas did a damn good job raising sons. Sorry if yours failed. You are overgeneralizing, Sellmaeth. That fact that some men turn out badly, does not mean that they all do, and no one has done it right. Similarly, not all women are accomplished or kind. Should we kill all female babies because some are murderers and criminals and derelicts? Also, my son is in a 2-parent home, so has multiple role models. Of course, there are other influences like classmates and cultural influences (TV, movies, internet, etc.) No one is denying this. Really, goes without saying, so I am not sure why 2 people logged on to play Captain of the Obvious. Obviously, as an adult in my 5th decade of life, I understand that. I never once stated that “women are responsible for how children turn out.” You said that. I didn’t. Let’s try to keep that straight. However, there are child-rearing practices that have a higher % likelihood of turning out a successful and kind child, and parents, not women alone, are responsible for implementing them and doing their best. That is all we can do, and fortunately, most of the time it is enough.


    • depaysement, you would not want to give birth to kittens! Good gravy! CLAWS. 😱 If you’re going to give birth to nonhumans make it something soft and rubbery like a frog… 😊 #ProblemSolved


      • But female cats manage it, and they’re so much smaller than us! (Well, domestic cats, anyway. Never considered birthing a tiger cub … hmmm.)

        But! “I’d rather have kittens” was one of my useful go-to phrases for the occasional nitwit who was all “but don’t you want baybeeeees”. The other, for more difficult subjects, was “The child I have will be the next king of France or I’m not having it,” which has the benefit of being 1) true and 2) completely confusing for anyone who doesn’t know me well. It never failed to shut them up.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s disgusting. Campus culture in big universities is vile and amazingly misogynistic. I’m so glad I’m out of that world now. I would say women should go to women’s universities to get away from the worst of it, but then there’s this:

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am really struggling with understanding why that young man is describing himself as a girl? I’m old, so bear with me, but if anyone can enlighten me as to why he is a she I would be most appreciative.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I answer to your question was going to be: for purposes of masturbation.

        There are all these sissy porn fetish books on Amazon. I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that.

        There was a great post on TransCritical Youth Professionals called I Really Wanted an Identity, or something like that. By a young man who had a masochistic sexual thing, the implication was from having been sexually abused as a child. But he had a sexual response to humiliating and masochistic stuff. He found his way to reddit and they’re all telling him oh yeah you’re definitely trans. But the thing was he didn’t want to be a masochist. And after a few months of believing this transgender thing he finally saw through it and realized his problem with something very different. It’s a really interesting post.

        Lots of different things exist in the world, the transgender zealous for Hoover up anybody. They want to spread trans more widely.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I do hate men. I also support the abortion of male fetuses. Well, as an antinatalist, I support the abortion of all fetuses, but you know what I mean. The only real solution, though, is to abolish gender. It seems like we’re just getting farther and farther away from that goal.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Disclaimer: English is not my mother tongue so I may be seeing something that isn’t there.
    That said, that banner, aside from being extraordinarily hateful and creepy in all already mentioned ways, also have a disgusting CSA / incest vibe to me.
    I mean, why ask parents (presumably the father) whether or not the daughter have a gag reflex? How would he know?
    All explanations that come to mind are disgusting and disturbing.

    As for all the rest? I’m from / living in a poor Southeast European country. If I were to start talking about just how much men here (and men from so-called “developed” places who traffic women from the rest of the world) hate and harm women and girls? I’m not sure I’d stop for days.
    So I’m just going to say; so what if some women hate men? They have more then enough reason to. And it’s not like they could (even if they wanted to) harm men anywhere close to the way they were harmed.

    Liked by 8 people

  7. Perhaps wherever you mention men substitute “male macho behavior”. Since man and woman relate to one’s sex, and what we are talking about is behavior, would it not make more sense to describe the offensive behavior? Otherwise we might be accused of linking behavior to one’s genetic code I.e. “I can’t help being violent, aggressive, rapey since I am XY male.” The behavior we are describing is taught and role modeled. Its so pervasive though its difficult to disentangle. My son has encountered it through online gaming platforms, primarily through Roblox, and as a consequence I had to have many discussions with him at a much younger age than I was planning to have them.

    The problem I have with this post is not your anger, which I share, but this broad brush that tars everyone. My wife at one point got tired of a relative posting Facebook posts about lazy welfare types ripping us honest taxpayers off. So my wife pushed back by saying she has had to use welfare from time to time, and she thought the posts were denigrating people like her that have had no choice but to use Welfare from time to time. Her cousin replied, well if it doesn’t apply to you, you shouldn’t be bothered by it. Which of course misses the point.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Excellent post, except that I disagree that there are even a few “feminists” who advocate killing male babies. I would not call them “feminists”! They are NOT feminists. Male or female— we are all born clean and polluted along the way.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I dunno, one could as easily argue that women who propose male infanticide and insist they are feminists are the ones doing the goalpost shifting. A good example of “no true Scotsman” works differently. I.e.: “no transwomen are sexual predators.” “Well, you agreed that guy was a transwoman and he turned out to be a rapist.” “Well, he wasn’t a true transwoman.”

        Liked by 2 people

      • I don’t think you know what the No True Scotsman Argument is. I agree with Miep. I haven’t moved any goalposts.


    • I get you don’t want to be considered to belong to the same group as people who advocate the killing of babies, but feminism is about liberating women, and while killing babies is a horrible thing to do, it would not hinder feminism from achieving its goal.

      If you consider feminism to be about being an all around nice person who wants everyone to live in harmony, then yes, someone who advocates infanticide is not a feminist.

      But if you define feminism as being about the liberation of women, and only that, then horrible people can be feminists.


      • No, Sallmaeth, killing babies would NOT advance feminism or human rights. That is just horrible, frankly. The ends are the means. One can not do evil and think the result will be good. Yes, killing babies WOULD ABSOLUTELY hinder feminism from the goal of women’s liberation. Please stop promoting the absurd idea that infanticide is part of any legitimate feminist agenda. It was the suggestion of a sociopath on a feminist blog. And no, we do not have to water down the definition of feminism being about women’s liberation to come to that conclusion. (“If you consider feminism to be about being an all around nice person who wants everyone to live in harmony…”) And, no, I do NOT need you to tell me what a real feminist is. I was one before you were even born. No, horrible, murderous people can NOT truly be feminists. We need to rise above that rhetoric or we are no better than the men who earn our criticism. Yikes!


  9. I’m not sure why you think I’m insulting you. I am simply saying that you can’t expect to socialize a child without any external input unless you actually isolate a child from those inputs. To think that a child will not be greatly affected by social pressure, the media, social mores, etc… is delusional. But then again, it’s pretty clear that most parents are made delusional by the Big Lies propagated by our society about parenthood.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, I can’t isolate my son from outside influences? No shit, Sherlock. I never said that I could. Also, how can you back up your statement that “MOST parents are made delusional…” Do you know most parents? Are you quoting scientific research? I think most parents understand that there are always multiple influences, since they were once children themselves. I think my explanation that since I can not be the only influence in my child’s life, I need to be the best influence in his life, was actually a fairly good synopsis and wise. Not sure why you think you are breaking new ground by offering such a silly comment implying that I think that I am the only influence in his life. I NEVER ONCE SAID THAT. You are arguing a straw man argument, speaking of fallacies.


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