My “agenda,” and some other thoughts

There are two FtMs following my blog, (that I know of), and I find this really fascinating, because who woulda thunk it, trans people reading a TERF blog! (To clarify, I’ve spoken to them and they’re not hate-following, they’re just following.) One of them I’ve talked to quite a bit and the other I’ve only talked to briefly. Both of them enjoy hearing a variety of viewpoints rather than adhering to dogma, and they like my feminist analysis.

One of them said that I use a neutral tone about body modifications and that I don’t have an “agenda” like some people. This was really encouraging to hear, although I think maybe I do have an agenda.

It was encouraging because I try to balance showing compassion and understanding for people with dysphoria while also calling people out when they’re being homophobic or misogynist. It’s a really delicate balance and I never know if I’m getting it right. I’m gonna mock someone for being a special snowflake if they’re completely gender conforming while still claiming some special identity, but then I’m gonna support someone if they’re really suffering. It’s not an either/or situation though. Recently I criticized Chris Mosier for promoting homophobia and I could have taken that one in either direction. She is at once a lesbian suffering from internalized homophobia—which I have compassion for—and also a fully grown adult who should know that it’s harmful to lesbians to be a poster boy for the “Lesbians are really men” belief system. Sometimes a person is both a victim and a perpetrator.

I think it’s better to have a mature, nuanced discussion rather than just shouting at people that they’re delusional and mutilating their bodies. Shouting at people like that is counter-productive. No one is going to listen to a gender critical analysis from someone who is insulting them. That being said, I do take a firm position though, and that’s why I said above that it’s possible I do actually have an agenda. It really depends what you mean by “agenda,” I guess.

Speaking of agendas, I’ve always found “The Gay Agenda” to be a really amusing concept. Right-wing Christians always imagine that the homos are a bunch of organized diabolical geniuses plotting to take down civilization. Meanwhile, my actual life is far less interesting than that. I wake up to an alarm every morning like everyone else does, grumble a lot through morning traffic and then work for eight hours. If only I was bringing down civilization instead! My “Gay Agenda” after work usually consists of making dinner, doing the dishes, and writing a blog post before bedtime. (And then if I’m lucky, engaging in lewd acts with another woman. 😉 ) The horror!

I do have somewhat of an agenda in writing this blog. My original agenda when I started it was to promote radical feminism. Over time I became less concerned about the label radical feminist and more focused on my actual beliefs, whether they technically qualify as “radical feminist” or not. (Although they usually do.) The more I read about transgenderism the more I wanted to write about that. Lately detransitioners have been leading a revolution (way to go, women!) and so I have been supporting them a lot. I also have an agenda of promoting lesbianism, which is why I write about lesbian culture. I certainly have a set of beliefs and values that come through in all my posts. They are the following, in no particular order:

  • Women are people, but we are not being treated as such due to patriarchy
  • Women’s bodies are fantastic the way they are and don’t need to be altered
  • Lesbians are female humans attracted to other female humans, and it’s great to be one
  • Children should not be transitioned, and gender roles should not be enforced on them
  • And obviously gender roles should not be enforced on anyone, child or adult
  • Biological sex is a real thing that exists, and doesn’t change even if the person makes some body modifications
  • Autogynephilia exists
  • Pornography and prostitution are violence against women
  • Sex-pozzies are not actually positive toward sex and also they’re fucking nuts

Pretty much everything I write contains one of these themes, and they’ve begun to repeat on an endless loop.

I’ve been watching a lot of FtM videos on YouTube, and let me tell you, the YouTube FtM community is bizarre, surreal, baffling, and sad. I’ve been watching so many videos and I’ve been wanting to write something on them but I don’t even know where to start. I am walking a fine line between “People can do whatever they want with their bodies” and “Why do so many women not want to be women or lesbians?”

The reason I don’t brush it off as a personal choice that doesn’t concern me is because I want to remain focused on a class analysis and a criticism of the culture. When many females who are attracted to females don’t want to be women or lesbians I am concerned about why. I have the right to criticize because I am concerned about this as a woman and as a lesbian.

When I start writing about FtM videos I’m going to be doing some “cissplaining” and giving out some excellent TERFy advice. (And believe me, my TERFy advice is excellent!) I don’t know how this will go over, but onwards I go, promoting the same values as usual: women’s bodies are fantastic, and the best possible outcome for a female who is attracted to females is not to pretend to be a man, but to become a happy lesbian.


22 thoughts on “My “agenda,” and some other thoughts

  1. “Sometimes a person is both a victim and a perpetrator.”
    Truer words were never said. You hit the nail on the head. This is what makes me reticent to out and out bash people for doing stuff that I find reprehensible. At some point, they learned this messed up way of being/thinking and it was probably handed down to them from someone who was equally messed up. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call people out for their behavior, especially when it hurts others. But I think it’s good to be cognizant of where this behavior comes from and to know that people who hurt are often hurting.

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Of COURSE you have an agenda. Why bother writing a blog if you don’t have a POV? Ideas you want to share with the world? Ideas you feel are important for making a better world?

    There’s a difference between having an agenda or POV and just mercilessly browbeating people for your own entertainment.

    You’re doing a great job. Rock on with your bad self!

    Liked by 5 people

    • I think what she meant by “you don’t have an agenda” is that I’m not one of the “Trans people are evil abominations who are going against God” people. She didn’t mean that I don’t have a POV. She’s surrounded by Trump supporters, so I probably sound refreshing compared to them. (By the way I am misgendering her right now because EVIL TERF.)

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I think it’s important to show that there is a broader diversity of thought that “hey, whatever you do is okay” or “ABOMINATIONS!!!!!” And I don’t feel that that depth is something at all represented in our current culture.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Right-wing Christians always imagine that the homos are a bunch of organized diabolical geniuses plotting to take down civilization.

    I was gonna say, youse lot are taking your sweet time about it if you are. Just get on with it, will ya? 😛

    Liked by 6 people

  5. I find your blog posts thoughtful, thought-provoking, and always worth rereading because there is so much to take in on the first pass. I think we lesbians are in real danger of being erased. Your analysis helps to clarify my thinking, and I thank you very much for your good work. Write on, please!

    Liked by 5 people

  6. As someone who is ‘butch’ in appearance i struggle at times with the amazing bigoted negativity that comes my way on a regular basis. I do wish to lose weight, but for health reasons as i realise i am a perfectly acceptable person just trapped in a society that despises my body and appearance. Strength required to get through this and reading positive blogs about all lesbians not just the ‘favoured ones’. Divide and rule is the patriarch’s game…

    Liked by 6 people

  7. Your posts always hearten me because they are sensible, philosophical and so true. Keep blogging. Sadly, so much is against us, media, medical profession, children’s rights advocates, the young people themselves and most significantly the Internet. Anyone or anything that offers a counter balance is welcome. How can undeveloped brains, such inexperienced individuals, so easily manipulated youths, be trusted to re assign themselves an alternative sex as if they are characters in a video game. The world will keep turning and they will likely find themselves victims of a great sociological con.

    Liked by 5 people

      • Add in Anime, socially isolated teens, conditions such as ASD (under-diagnosed in girls) and you have the perfect storm. A socially responsible, emotionally mature adult would recognise this and gate-keep not cheerlead. The backlash, when it comes will leave the Transgender community and many medical professions discredited and reviled, when the kids themselves grow up. More confirmation for their belief that our generation ‘messed up the world’.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Yep. Never forget anime 🙄 I think about it all this way too. When what the docs but especially the psychologists are doing is exposed people will be astounded they didn’t know this crazy bogus crap was going on.

          Cari’s counsellor at TransActive in Portland was a fanatically anti-gay evangelical Christian. Not that Cari knew that. She has a tumblr blog Guide On Raging Stars. And on Do No Harm blog today was this story of the activist onslaught and manipulations at one US public charter school. Chilling.

          Liked by 2 people

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