True love and asparagus

It’s rare that I write about something happy, so I thought I should write about this. Today for dinner I made asparagus, and I know my partner will only eat the tops, so I separated the tops from the bottoms in the pot, and then I put the tops aside for her and I ate the bottoms. Then I thought about how routine this is for me, and how it doesn’t feel like a nuisance, it just feels like taking care of my partner. And it makes me feel good. It’s an act of caring and love. I think that’s how you know you love someone, when you do things like that.

We are lucky to have each other. Feel free to share your goofy and sweet things you do for you partner, if you want.


22 thoughts on “True love and asparagus

  1. Think it’s important to include as many people as possible in that ’embrace of affection’, as expressed here. To counteract the bad feelings that all people rub up against everywhere. Just to let others know, when kindness allows that, that their own individual life is as important in this world, as we believe our lives are, as individuals too. Everyone deserves the right to feel important enough to warrant special feelings. It’s a case of ‘spread the love’, when you can..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good call on the asparagus. My GF and I had been together for many years when she told me how much it bothered her that when I went to the kitchen for a snack or drink, I never asked if she wanted anything. My first reaction was, “You never asked for anything!” But she pointed out that when we had company, I was always asking if they wanted anything; and that I should at least treat her with the same manners that I showed to visitors. And she was right, the most important person in my life deserved the best treatment of all.

    Putting in the effort to customize her veggies is important. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that make the biggest difference.

    Liked by 4 people

    • This is so true. Not suggesting this happened in your case, just a general comment that relates – sometimes when people get to the comfy stage of a relationship (and sometimes before, but that’s a bit of a different dynamic), others outside the relationship see the ‘best side’ of a significant other and the partner gets the leftovers. It can be really damaging to a relationship if the significant other doesn’t get what the problem is, and should be a red flag if they simply don’t care.


    • That’s a wonderful poem. Thank you for posting it.

      As we know Sappho’s poems survived mostly in poem fragments. I’m guessing the last line of this one is missing and I wonder what it might have said.

      Liked by 2 people

    • “As love then is the power
      that none can disobey,
      so too my thoughts must follow
      my darling far away:
      the sparkle of her laughter
      would give me greater joy
      than all the bronze-clad heroes”

      Thanks for the poem, Merricat, she’s explicitly declaring herself lesbian here, isn’t she?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My mother used to make sure my father and I got the chicken breast while she had a leg. Not sure what happened to the other leg.
    Re BB’s comment above, we invariably ask each other about drinks, although I do most of the cooking. I wouldn’t share the asparagus out like that though. Can’t you buy two bunches and make soup out of the bottoms?


  4. You really leave all the asparagus tops to her?
    That’s possibly the most romantic thing I’ve ever read.
    I am not in a relationship, but I do know about asparagus tops. They are tasty, and they are a rare delicacy and giving them all to your partner is so very sweet.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Oh, I hate to be the buzzkill, but I feel compelled to mention that women around the world have been socialized for centuries to eat less/worse food than their males/children. I think this is less prevalent in the first world now, given the plenty that a lot of us enjoy — but I remember my mother specifically and consciously acting against that tradition, in which she had been raised. So while I agree it is generous and loving to offer something I know my beloved loves, when it doesn’t matter that much to me either way, I also don’t want to forget how lucky I am to be in a position to do that without having (or being expected) to deprive myself in the process.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Not wishing to argue rebel13’s very valid points, I think the relationship dynamic of purplesagefem’s experience negates the ‘woman giving selflessly to others only to be taken for granted’ thing, or it be expected of her because she’s a woman. I couldn’t see it happening otherwise – this post probably wouldn’t exist (or if it did, it might be an entirely appropriate response such as, ‘my ahole partner always expects me to do stuff like spend ages cutting asparagus tips just for them while I get nothing in return and I hate having to eat the poxy stalks, eff them!’ type thing). But – from what little I know – I cannot imagine purplesagefem being part of such an unhealthy dynamic 🙂 This sounds more like a very loving gesture to an appreciative partner who no doubt thinks the world of purplesagefem.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Well now I think I should say something that she does for me. So here’s one: when she makes me a sandwich, first of all, she makes WAY better sandwiches than I do. I just throw some meat between two slices of bread and that’s it, but she actually does things like add condiments and cut it in half. And she also gives me pickles, in a separate container so the bread doesn’t get soggy, and lately she’s been adding a paper towel to the pickles so the juice doesn’t leak out into my lunch container, which is gross. So yeah. True love. ♥

        Liked by 2 people

  6. I can state for certain that the female body is the more pleasurable one to have. The reason women hate being female is because of the way females are mistreated; it’s not due to any problem with the body itself…
    Perhaps conditioning (to be like their “masters”) is another factor.


  7. That’s so sweet! (The story, not the asparagus pee smell lol) I love how you appreciate the gutter head thing though.


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