Teen boys don’t want lesbian in their bathroom

From the New York Times:

Transgender Bathroom Debate Turns Personal at a Vermont High School

“CHESTER, Vt. — The way A J Jackson tells it, he kept his head ducked down and pretended to fiddle with his cellphone as he walked into the boys’ bathroom and headed for a stall at Green Mountain Union High School here.

But the way some of his classmates see it, A J was still Autumn Jackson, a girl in boys’ clothing, who had violated an intimate sanctum, while two boys were standing at a urinal, their private parts exposed.

“It’s like me going into a girls’ bathroom wearing a wig,” Tanner Bischofberger, 15, a classmate of A J Jackson’s, who was not one of those in the bathroom, said this week. “It’s just weird.”

A complaint about Mr. Jackson’s using the boys’ bathroom set off a protest by students advocating the right of their transgender classmate to use the bathroom of his choice. On Thursday, the schools superintendent announced a new practice at the high school allowing transgender students to use the sex-specific bathroom of their choice, rather than being encouraged to use a gender-neutral bathroom.”

Some more details are given about A J later in the article. She has not begun hormones yet, so she is still 100% female, and her classmates have known her as a girl for their whole lives. Obviously, boys are going to be uncomfortable when one of their female classmates enters their washroom. Also, A J “once thought [s]he was lesbian, and is still attracted to girls.” A photo of A J in the New York Times article shows a teenage girl with green hair and a plaid shirt. She looks like a completely normal lesbian.

It was hard enough for me to come out as a lesbian, back when all I had to do was figure out what attraction and love felt like, and who made me feel those feelings. Imagine how hard it is now, when you have to go through a phase of believing you’re really a man and having your photo in the New York Times because you’ve been using the boys’ bathroom and your classmates aren’t happy about it. Dear goddess! Her life can’t be easy.

Some of her classmates are supporting her right to use the boys’ washroom, despite the boys’ objections, and despite the fact that it’s a terrible idea for teen girls to use men’s washrooms in general. I wish her classmates were supporting her for being a lesbian, instead of telling her she’s a boy.

So this whole thing has sparked some homophobic students to go around wearing T-shirts that say “straight pride.”

“Students at Green Mountain are complaining that a small vocal minority of gay, lesbian and, as far as they know, one — or maybe two — transgender students among them are trampling on the rights of the majority to decide what the rules of conduct should be.

That idea of a minority’s ruling unfairly is what motivated the father of one student to order the “Straight Pride” T-shirts online last week and send them to school with his daughter, who declined to be interviewed.

The T-shirt-wearing students say gay people are being celebrated at the expense of straight people.”

Fucking hell. Gays and lesbians aren’t ruling over anything. It’s still illegal to be gay in many countries, and there is still discrimination against gays even in the more tolerant areas. Celebrating gay people does absolutely nothing to harm straight people—that’s absolutely ridiculous. The reason for wearing a “straight pride” T-shirt is because you want to proudly display your homophobia. Congratulations, you’re a dickhead!

This “straight pride” thing brings up the complex issue about the relationship between gays and lesbians and transgenders. In a way, transition is not about sexual orientation, because it’s about whether one feels male or female or neither, not about who they’re attracted to. There are straight people who transition, too. But in another way, this is about gay people, because a lot of young transitioners, like this young woman, are actually gay or lesbian. The fact that students at this school began wearing “straight pride” T-shirts after the bathroom debate opened up shows how transgender politics creates a backlash against lesbians and gays. We are seen as the ones wanting to desegregate bathrooms, because we’ve allied ourselves with transgenders. But plenty of lesbians DO NOT agree with transgender politics, and DO NOT want to work with these people on bathroom desegregation. Many of the feminists who are gender-critical are lesbians. (I haven’t heard much from gay men about this. They don’t tend to care about women, do they?)

There are some pretty interesting quotes in this article.

“There were practical issues. When he had his period, he wondered if he should revert to the girls’ bathroom, because there was no place to throw away his used tampons. But he had started feeling like an intruder in the girls’ bathroom, and the single bathrooms were so far out of the way it was hard to get to class on time.”

His period? His used tampons? For gawd’s sake! She has a period because she’s female. Only females have periods.

You know, she’s not the only lesbian who feels like an intruder in the girls’ bathroom. Even I went through a period of worrying that I didn’t belong in female spaces when I was struggling with my sexuality, and I’m a lesbian who looks like a woman. It’s even worse for masculine-presenting women because the other women in bathrooms constantly assume they’re male and tell them they’re in the wrong bathroom and give them a hard time. The solution isn’t to use the men’s bathroom. The solution is to get help with your internalized homophobia, and become a proud lesbian who shows other people just how awesome and diverse women are. (And please read this post by Big Boo Butch about lesbians in washrooms, if you haven’t already. She is exactly the role model these young lesbians need.)

“Mr. Jackson feels safe in the boys’ bathroom at school, he said, whereas in public places, like Dunkin’ Donuts, he is afraid to go to the men’s restroom for fear of being attacked by straight men.”

She likely would get attacked by straight men. Any woman would be vulnerable to attack in a men’s washroom, but teenage girls are probably the most vulnerable. Anyone who cares about this girl will tell her not to use the men’s washroom, and to stick to either women’s or single-stall washrooms so that she will be safe.

“Hank Mauti, a school board member and retired sawmill worker from Andover, said he wondered why Mr. Jackson would feel compelled to use a boys’ bathroom when there were six single-use gender-neutral bathrooms in the school.”

It was noted in the article that the gender-neutral washrooms are farther away and so it’s hard to use them between classes. I think the teachers at this school should tell A J that it’s okay to be 2 minutes late for class if she needs to go to the gender neutral bathroom. She really could just use the girls’ bathroom, but the gender neutral one should be an option for her, to make her more comfortable. That would be a reasonable accommodation.

The article also notes that the kids at this school are divided and hostile with each other over this issue, and some kids who used to be friends no longer speak. This is so terrible. This shouldn’t be happening, and I bet this is happening at high schools all over North America. There should be no cult that convinces lesbians they are really men, there should be no laws requiring that washrooms be desegregated, people should use the washroom that corresponds to their anatomy and we should be fighting homophobia, sexist stereotypes, and male violence so that gays, lesbians, and gender nonconforming people of all types can be safe in the correct washroom.


20 thoughts on “Teen boys don’t want lesbian in their bathroom


    This girl is going to get hurt if she pushes these crazy ideas far enough to walk into a men’s room anywhere but the high school. Someone who cares about her needs to take her aside and explain some facts of life about male behavior which have apparently heretofore escaped her. Also the boys in the high school washroom deserve to have their modest respected as well. Everyone deserves respect. The problem with people like this is that they seem to think that only THEY are deserving of respect.

    Sorry about the pronouns, but it is my belief that being male or female is not subject to choice or change, and it’s too complicated to word around pronouns right now. Except for the exceedingly rare person (this is not one of them), everyone is born one or the other, and we all will have to stick with it and make of it what we can.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Zug.

    May I say the creepy “Straight Pride” T-shirts, am I the only one that makes think of White Pride? are in the school because bigoted assholes, who are pervasively stupid as well, grew up learning hostility toward gay people and toward gay political institutions. Like the pride parades. Why didn’t they learn hostility towards transgender people? Because institutionalized derogatory terms and all the other bric-a-brac of prejudiced toward transgender people hasn’t been invented yet. Because the vast majority of people have only heard about this in the last five years. Transpeople in general have not been being subjected to the generalized bigotry and beatings that gay people have been for ages. And even now where at someone in the name of transdoes something truly of obnoxious, invading the boys washroom with the stupid urinals, gay people are blamed. And organized homophobia, in these T-shirts that they bought online, they didn’t make them. Gay hating T-shirts: readily available. Anyway organized homophobia is what is used in response to obnoxious transgender behavior. 😠

    Lesbians and gays need to get out in front of this. Express sympathy for the teenage boys who don’t want this and dissociate themselves from trans. 😳

    I know two gay men on Twitter who are very interested in this stuff and hilarious in there snark against the trans crap. Obviously these two British guys are hardly The Majority of Gay Men, but they do exist. 😬

    Liked by 3 people

  3. That poor kid, I fear for her safety. She’s getting set up by trans community, her and other trans kids, and they won’t care till they can use her as a martyr.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. ” When he had his period, he wondered if he should revert to the girls’ bathroom, because there was no place to throw away his used tampons.”

    And there, we have one of the reasons why bathrooms used to be sex segregated, and why it makes absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL to segregate them along “gender” lines.

    Like, I don’t care about “his” pronouns, I don’t think we need gendered pronouns (recently read a scifi book translated from a language without gendered pronouns. It used the feminine as default, which was great), but anatomy is real, and people have real needs that derive from their anatomy, and it is due to those needs that we have sex segregated bathrooms in the first place.

    Why have people gone so crazy?

    There is no benefit at all from “gender” -segregated bathrooms, so if at all, they could just declare all bathrooms unisex and put wastebins everywhere – that would at least make it seem like they invested two minutes of thinking. (More thinking would remind them that male violence is another reason why we have sex segregated bathrooms, but … at least they could keep in mind that no person ever needed a separate space because of their “gender identity”, so this gender-segregation is nonsense.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Of course there are easy solutions. You name one. But these people (the trans and trans agitators) are not looking for solutions. Their goal is to create problems.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sigh. I know the community from where this story comes. It’s about an hour’s drive from my farm, and it’s not a big town.

    Why in the name of all that is holy is that child not using the gender neutral bathroom? Even as an adult butch, I wouldn’t want to step into a high school boys restroom. It was hard enough for me to use the girls restroom in my high school as a youth.

    That area is so lightly populated, I am surprised that the DD has multi-stall restrooms. I live in a town of 10,000 (whereas Chester has around 3,000) and our DD has single-person restrooms.

    It feels like someone wants their fifteen minutes of fame…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I always like your writing! But this line is really really weird! “She looks like a completely normal lesbian.” I don’t expect lesbians to say what a “normal” lesbian might “look” like. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

      • I should have edited… where lesbians look like Homo sapiens females and Hets look like Homo sapiens females, and bi.s look like Homo sapiens females… and one is always hard-pressed to make a guess 😉


    • I guess the word “lesbian” was necessary because while the girl may not look like the average female human in that area of the world, she does not look at all unusual for a lesbian.

      I always suspected the trans lobby might not like me, because I am in favour of a world where all women look like normal women, and all men look like normal men, (not because they adhere to stereotypes but because steretoypes have been abolished and no one adheres to them) and therefore transmen look like normal women and transwomen look like normal men. (Unless they take a lot of hormones and get a lot of surgery, but as most trans nowadays don’t do that … they’d be “misgendered” all the damn time)

      Liked by 1 person

        • Interesting question – probably not. I am not sure how this works exactly – are they attracted to themselves in feminine clothes, or do they actually imagine having an uterus and so on? I suppose the latter they could still do, but they’d either get surgery (if they found someone to perform it… ) or it would be all in their heads. That’s assuming it is a birth defect in sexual orientation and not just a consequence of how society sexualizes women. If it’s the latter, then they wouldn’t exist in that utopia.


        • If there was no gender, which would have to mean no patriarchy I presume, then women wouldn’t be the subordinate sex-thing class, and hopefully there wouldn’t be any thrill for these men to imagine themselves as women. Though a world without patriarchy, and in particular, nauseating male paraphilias, is quite hard to imagine existing.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Yes, hard to imagine, but we should try nevertheless!

          If the paraphilia is tied to the subordinate sex-class thing, which I think is quite likely (forced feminization seems to be a fetish for many men), then we will be totally rid of it.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. I have to say I’m glad to hear that the boys are complaining. People (I mean people-in-power) will listen to boys, and therefore take seriously their embarrassment as being caught with their willies in their hands. They won’t of course listen to girls complain. When girls/women speak, it’s just a little chattering of birds in the distant background, nothing a person needs to pay attention to. So let the boys complain, help the boys complain, encourage them to complain!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. It’s so jarring and nonsensical to read things like “his period” and “his used tampons.” This is one of the reasons why I don’t use opposite-sex pronouns for people who are clearly aren’t that sex! I can’t pretend someone with a fully female body is now male.

    What are the odds she’s yet another transtrender who never even suspected she might be trans, and then declared this identity out of the blue after a social media binge?

    Liked by 2 people

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