“A high school in Pennsylvania says it was within its rights to toss out a student from prom because she chose to wear a tuxedo rather than a dress. Aniya Wolf told WHTM-TV that authorities at Bishop McDevitt High School in Harrisburg made her feel like “a mistake” for her decision to forego a dress to the prom. The school, however, says Wolf failed to follow a clear dress code for the prom that was laid out months in advance. “The dress code for the prom specified girls must wear formal dresses,” the school said in a statement. “It also stated that students who failed to follow the dress code would not be admitted.”
No one was surprised by Wolf’s decision to not wear a dress to the prom, least of all her family. Wolf, who is a lesbian, says she wore shirt and pants to school throughout her three years at Bishop McDevitt. “I’ve just always been like this, ever since I was little,” Wolf said. “I was always more masculine.” Then at the last minute, the Wolf family claims the school sent out an email saying girls had to wear dresses to prom. Wolf’s mom, Carolyn Wolf, called the school to complain. In the end, Aniya decided to go anyway and was quickly escorted out by a school official who even threatened to call the police if she didn’t leave.”
At this link, you can view a video of Wolf speaking. In the video, they specifically mention that she is not transgender. This doesn’t surprise me, because nowadays lesbians who insist on wearing tuxedos to the prom are assumed to be “men in women’s bodies.”
It breaks my heart that she was made to feel like “a mistake.” That was quite deliberate on their part. For many generations now, and we’re talking more than a hundred years, women who defy gender norms and who love other women have been subject to discrimination and violence from people who want them to be just like everyone else. There are some lesbians who can more or less fit in because they look like other women, and there are some who look different and stand out no matter what. Those who look obviously gender nonconforming are currently subject to a massive PR campaign telling them they are really men in women’s bodies and can be “fixed.”
This bullying by the staff at Wolf’s school is a part of the effort to disappear the gender nonconforming lesbians. They wanted her to either attend prom in drag as a feminine woman, which she is not, or not attend at all. Lesbians are given this exact ultimatum all the time–either conform or be kicked out of regular society. Those who are unable to perform feminity have no choice but to live as men if they are to fit in. There is currently tons of support for women who “fix” their nonconformity with the feminine social role by adhering to the male social role instead and modifying their bodies so that they appear to be men. However, there is very little support for lesbians who choose to challenge gender norms and live authentically as nonconforming women.
Thank goodness that in this case, the student’s mother is supportive of her lesbian daughter.
I didn’t attend my prom. I didn’t fit in with high school culture at all, didn’t fit in with the other students, and couldn’t picture myself there at all.
Gender nonconforming lesbians are not men and are not mistakes. They are fantastic exactly the way they are. This young woman is brave and strong and I wish her all the best.