Special Snowflakes all around the world

Special snowflakism is all over the world now! In this Guardian article, young people in several countries share how they label their personalities and clothing styles as “genders.”

The gender-fluid generation: young people on being male, female or non-binary

“Some days Daniela Esquivel Asturias, 21, wakes up feeling feminine and puts on a dress or lipstick. But on others Asturias feels much more masculine and the thought of wearing a skirt induces an overwhelming sense of dysmorphia. “I would be equally comfortable with a male or female body. My male personality is more outgoing than my female one. It’s like having both male and female energies and some days a mix of both,” Asturias says.The student from Costa Rica is gender fluid, and doesn’t identify with one gender, instead fluctuating between feeling more male or female.”

So this woman has more than one personality, and one of them is male, apparently. I don’t buy into the idea that there is such thing as a “male personality” or a “female personality.” Everyone has their own personality, regardless of their sex. If you are female, then any personality you have is a legitimate personality for a woman. Same for men. The idea that all females have “feminine” personalities is sexism, and is untrue. Also, there is no such thing as “male energy” or “female energy.” It’s a normal human experience to feel differently on different days—who on Earth feels the same way all the time? I certainly don’t.

“It’s hard to explain, Asturias says, before referring to the way society tends to define gender, on a spectrum. “At one end is being male and the other female, and you kind of move between the two, and usually remain in the middle.”

You can’t actually move between male and female, no. Male and female are biological categories that refer to the reproductive function of your body, and they do not change. You cannot wake up on Monday with an ova-producing body and then wake up on Tuesday with a sperm-producing body. What she is actually referring to is a sense of style and a mood that fluctuate from day to day. Because society labels every aspect of human experience as being either strictly for males or strictly for females, people end up interpreting their feelings as “male” and “female” when actually any of these experiences can be felt by either sex. We are all in between the polar opposites of masculinity and femininity because none of us conform perfectly to society’s sexist stereotypes.

“Young people are increasingly challenging conventional gender stereotypes – half the US millennials surveyed by Fusion agree gender isn’t limited to male and female.”

That just demonstrates how confused everyone is about what gender means. Gender is the set of rules and expectations placed on people based on their reproductive sex—it comes in two forms, masculinity and femininity. The way to challenge gender stereotypes is to refuse to follow the rules and to fight the idea that females are always feminine and that males are always masculine. Gender certainly is limited to two forms—masculinity and femininity, but of course, human personalities come in all kinds.

“In the case of Payton Quinn, 24, gender is ever evolving. Quinn gravitated towards masculine clothes as a teenager. “I cut my hair short and started binding my chest. I tried my best to pass as male.” This behaviour caused other kids to pick fights, and after getting badly injured Quinn felt forced back to presenting as a woman. But, after striking up a new relationship two years ago, Quinn felt strong enough to appear as male again.”

So a young woman tried to wear the clothes that were comfortable for her and because they did not follow the social construct of femininity, other people harassed her. There is always someone around to punish those who do not comply with the gender role that is assigned to people based on their sex. Obeying the rules of gender meant less harassment for her. However, when she dresses the way she wants to, she’s not “appearing as male,” she’s appearing as herself. Wearing comfortable clothing does not change your sex.

About a MtF transwoman:

“Strazds has faced some stigmatisation. “Most of the people who are transphobic kinda just avoid me so I don’t have to deal with it much. I mean there’s creepy and rude people here and there, but that’s kinda it. I gravitate towards good queers, so most of the people in my life are queer people with good gender politics.”

GOOD QUEERS! Ha ha ha ha ha! You wouldn’t want to go near those bad queers, like the kind who understand human biology and sex-based oppression! Come to think of it, “bad queers” sound like people I’d like to meet!

“Kyle McQuillan, 27, from the US, is male, but was born female. He identifies as a gay man, saying: “Sometimes I feel more gender fluid, but never female. It’s who I have been my entire life.” . . . McQuillan adds that dating is also challenging as women are afraid they’ll be labelled lesbian. “I’ve heard similar stories from trans women [about men being seen as gay]. But there are also those who stand up for us in the gay community. A friend and I went to a strip club, both of us are transgender, and were told we needed to come back on ladies night if we wanted a lap dance, and a friend of ours, a gay man, also a drag queen, stood up for us. Even in the gay community we experience discrimination, but the more that our voices are heard, the more acceptance we are receiving.”

Okay, what? This woman identifies as a gay man but is dating women? That’s definitely what I’m reading here. She says she’s a gay man, but then she says that she has a hard time dating women because they’ll be afraid of being labeled lesbian, right? I think the only way I could understand this is if I got high before reading it.

You know, it’s not really surprising that females who date other females would be labeled lesbian, since THAT’S WHAT A LESBIAN IS. The question is, if you are a lesbian, why are you identifying as a gay man?? My brain hurts.

Now, the thing about the strip club. She actually thinks she was discriminated against for not being accepted into a strip club as a man! *headdesk*

Let’s talk about discrimination, shall we? A strip club is a place where females are objectified for the benefit of males. Males get to enjoy the power and privilege they have which allows them to financially coerce women into stripping for them, and they also tend to harass and assault the female performers, some of whom are being prostituted. This is discrimination against all females, in fact—not just those females who wish they were male.

This FtM figures that if she “identifies” the right way, she can gain access to the privileges that the male sex class enjoys. Nope. It turns out that male privilege is reserved only for males—females don’t get it. Men believe women are sexual objects for them to use, because they are taught so culturally and also legally allowed to get away with this behavior. All women are targets of sex-based oppression, no matter what outfit they’re wearing or how they “identify.”

“The Guardian received 104 responses from people who felt gender fluid to a greater or lesser extent. For some this even meant fluctuating between a multitude of genders. Cam, 20, from Ireland has experienced as many as 10 different genders, including male, female, bigender and agender.”

Jesus Christ. Ten different genders? Well, I have ONE HUNDRED GENDERS! Take that! I am a better queer than you now!

“Allie, 21, from the UK, who defines as agenderflux says some of her family and friends are still learning. “A lot of older people aren’t as used to talking about non-binary genders as my generation are, so a little more patience is needed for them, I guess. I’ve been told some people in older generations have been confused between terms and different non-binary identities.”

I’m in my early thirties, and I don’t have any patience for people who call themselves “agenderflux” either.

“Clo, 23, from the US – who identifies as transmasculine, gender fluid, non-binary, and queer trans – says their family cannot accept them for who they are. “People think, just because the words to describe us are new, that being non-binary is a fad. But people have always lived and felt non-binary – there’s just a label for it now. And behind that label is a community, people who respect you and lift you up. We’re not a trend. We’re humans and this is integral to our sense of self. Acknowledging our humanity and identity doesn’t harm you.”

Sure, people have always expressed their personalities, and people’s personalities have never fit neatly into masculine or feminine, so yeah, we’ve always been “non-binary.” That’s because masculinity and femininity are social constructs that don’t reflect the way real people are. We’re all in the middle of those two stereotypes. What is a fad, however, is having to call yourself something like “transmasculine, gender fluid, non-binary, and queer trans” just to express the fact that you like to cut your hair short and wear baggy clothes. People might have an easier time accepting you if you dropped the incoherent and confusing identity categories and just decided to be yourself without any need to label it.

I wear different outfits every day, too! I have some clothes that are feminine and some that are masculine. People call me by female pronouns because when they see me they can tell I’m female. I have short hair which is currently dyed purple, and I appear anywhere between feminine and androgynous, and this doesn’t require a label at all, it’s just the way I look. I’m an adult human female, no matter what I do with my hair and clothes. There is no reason why I need to label my sense of style with a “gender” category and set of pronouns. That would be silly and unnecessary.

 

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27 thoughts on “Special Snowflakes all around the world

  1. Talk about brain hurting! Ouch! I’m so sick of this fad–that’s all popular culture seems to be is fad after fad after fad. Being “gender neutral” or “gender fluid” is a novelty and gives people something to talk about. Pretty soon, people will be amputating limbs and having them replaced with objects that become interesting conversation pieces. This actually reminds me of this Ray Bradbury story about a guy who wanted to do this (amputate limbs and replace them with interesting stuff) so he could be popular. It’s just amazing what people will do to get noticed. I’d be really interested to learn more about these people’s family dynamics.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Hey! I just wrote a thing about labels earlier today, haven’t posted it yet, but this is so ridiculously on-point! And, did I mention ridiculous!

    I don’t know how you read through all of these articles without your brain exploding…

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Today, I taught a toddler’s class and was warm and nurturing. Then I taught an advanced class and was stern and challenging. Then I taught an adult class and was peppy and motivating. Finally, I taught a different advanced class and was firm, yet inspiring.

    At no point in all this did my body change to match either my mood (though, to be real, I was having a pretty good day) nor my teaching style (which I adapted to the needs of each set of students.)

    Honestly, nobody will be making the mistake of identifying the woman with the muscular hourglass figure as male, despite my competition suits that compress my shape and my fresh buzz cut. Despite even my broad shoulders and athletic skill.

    And I’ve come to peace over that. I worry about these kids who are being encouraged to concentrate on their dysphoria. Because that feeling is misery and the body never changes enough.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. “Ladies’ Night at the strip club.” So women can sexually take advantage of disenfranchised women too, as long as men don’t have to watch? Or do they only offer male lap dancers on ladies’ night?

    I was thinking tonight that we live in this culture that insists presentation *is* gender, and all these gendered pronouns are a way of reinforcing that. It’s striking that the non-gendered ones never caught on, except that “they” and “themselves” and “their” have become both singular and plural, so now we have yet another set of ambiguous pronouns. But we still have no non-gendered formal address.

    Well, there’s always “Comrade.” So, if you’re in a restaurant and a guy in a dress with breasts is the server, and you said “Comrade, could I please get a refill on my coffee?” Do you think that would fly?

    Liked by 3 people

      • “Friend” would work all right in a community familiar with Quakers, but some people would otherwise see it as a transgression. If a man addressed me as “friend” it might well make me a little nervous because I’d be wondering what he was up to. If a woman did it wouldn’t bother me at all, I would on the contrary find it sweet.

        Liked by 2 people

        • It occurred to me that your part of the country would likely react poorly to “comrade” whatever you wore. I live in the town with the largest and most stable monthly Meeting in the state, and even here, where we have a significant Quaker history, I get the occasional raised eyebrow. But then, my experience as a waitress was that a day in which I was not actively sexually harassed by either my boss or a patron should get chalked up as good and move on. Anyone taking that job expecting validation won’t last.

          Liked by 3 people

        • Oh, here I just address strangers as ma’am or sir if I feel like being extra polite, and I would do that if I was a restaurant server. Gender confusion is not an issue here. But I’d never last because of not just the harassment, but the constant acting. Cashiering was bad enough.

          They should make everyone do two years national service either cashiering or waiting tables. It would do a lot of good for people’s manners.

          Liked by 3 people

        • I waited tables for years. The guys who sexually harassed me? Usually left either no tip, or left a lousy tip. I remember one table that came in 3 minutes before closing, harassed me for over an hour as they ate, and left a 10% tip, with the words “lose weight fatass” written on the bill.

          Liked by 2 people

  5. I worked as a stripper for two years. It was the most depressing work I have ever done. I wasn’t very good at it, because the best dancers *flirt* with the guys. The trick is to make them think you want sex. This makes money for the bar. I could not look them in the eye, it just felt wrong.

    I went to bed every night, in tears. Apparently this was not uncommon.

    And I understood objectification much better after going through that. My only value as a person was in whether or not guys got off. One 400lb man made a point of flinging pennies at me to show his disapproval
    I wasn’t sexy enough for him.

    Oh, and when in high school , I used to dress masculine some days and feminine other. I never thought I was special though. I was just messing around. None of this genderfluid bullshit.

    I also wear men’s t shirts and operate a chainsaw now. AM I A MAN?????

    Liked by 6 people

    • Wonderful! ⚙🔧🛠 (there’s no chainsaw sticker)

      About the pennies, I never thought about the men like, differentiating between the strippers. It sounds like some kind of perved out junior high. “Sorry, but you’re just not one of the Popular strippers.” Yuck.

      Liked by 1 person

      • One dancer that i worked with shared a great story. She was working on a Friday night and a guy came in and started telling her that she didn’t turn him on. That she was worthless. Un-sexy and so on.

        So she asked him that if he is such hot fucking shit then why is he in a strip club on a Friday night insulting strippers instead of getting laid?

        Liked by 6 people

        • My girlfriend and I were in a club getting harassed by this bloke. He asked us what we did, we said we were social workers – Guy snorts. Girlfriend asks him what he did. He said. “I fuck women”. She said, “That must cost you a fortune”. He slunk off saying, hur, good one!.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. LOL! ! These awful people. I was really pretentious when I was a teenager. And it was definitely a fad.

    Chlo is the one I most want to grab by the shoulders and shake. As you said about her purplesage:

    People might have an easier time accepting you if you dropped the incoherent and confusing identity categories

    Or if she wasn’t a pretentious asshole. It’s a big power thing too isn’t it? Not just being a Special Snowflake, but The Boss of Everybody Else’s Words.

    Calling everything a gender, god! What a mindfuck. Why can’t they just be subcultures? Like the million ‘spectacular youth subcultures’ they had in Britain in the 80s. They were really irritating. But now I kind of like them… Shorthair and baggy clothes? Comfy-Wumfy subculture. Signed me up. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Oh, the strip club woman! Comedy gold.

    What’s she gonna do with a lap dance? She’s an Ersatz Man. Actual men in lap dances they masturbate in their pants. I will never get past how gross and creepy that is. And undesirable. 😖
    She just looks so much like someone who’s intentionally, neurotically, seeking out stuff that won’t work. Situations where she’ll fail at this thing she’s decided she has to do or be. And it’s sad. Not that she isn’t annoying. But the idea people are encouraging her in this crap. And it’s so body altering. Unlike the dressing up subcultures I was involved in.

    On the other hand that paragraph is still really really funny. That should be in the dictionary under “sparklegender”.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. People who have time and energy to decide that they have 10 or 100 different genders (and to track them by what clothes they’re wearing today and then write all about it) need to be given something useful to do. Like maybe get a job?

    Why do I think they are all still living in their parents’ basement?

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I am often tempted to laugh about the snowflake syndrome, until I remember that people used to be put to death because someone else had seen them fly off into the night on a broomstick to eat babies. That entire villages turned against a person, usually female and either very beautiful or very old, as a cause for bad weather or failed harvests. We must not under-estimate the hazardous potential of cultural morons.

    Like

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