Girl transitions to avoid getting periods and being a lesbian

Oh gawd, I’ve started watching these transition videos and I just can’t help writing about another one.

This is a young girl who didn’t like the female role, was incredibly horrified when she got her first period, and didn’t want to be a lesbian. These are the reasons she gives when asked how she knew she wanted to transition.

“I’ve always been uncomfortable with my body and living as female as long as I can remember… I was very uncomfortable in the female role.”

She describes being in denial about getting a period, and seems to think periods are really terrible. When she got her period she cried and felt “crushed,” “shocked,” and “hurt.” She says there is no word to describe how awful she felt about her period.

Getting her period was “the beginning of the breaking point.” The rest of her breaking point was her mother, who did not agree with her plans to transition and attempted to support her natural development as a lesbian woman.

“We were on the way to school and I was in tears at this point and I think I told my mom that I was trans already but she wasn’t very accepting of the whole transitioning thing. I just really did not want to go to school, I just wanted to lay under a rock and never come back.” Eventually her mom agreed to let her stay home from school. “So we got in front of the house she finally said something…She was like, what’s the big deal it’s just a period it happens to all girls. And I said something along the lines of I’m not a girl, I told you this already. I’m a guy and I’m trapped in this body…she was pretty much just like I don’t see what the problem is, you can be a lesbian and have girlfriends and stuff, you don’t need to mutilate your body and take these hormones and all this stuff, just because of a period. And that was the breaking point. When she said you can be a lesbian, you don’t have to do this. And that was the breaking point. I was like, I’m not a lesbian, I yelled that.”

A moment later, she says, “For me, it was transition or die.”

In the video, she appears very masculine—she has probably been on testosterone for a while and may have already had top surgery, because she passes for male. She talks about how determined she was to transition. She learned about transition from videos and blogs by transitioners, and her mother could not talk her out of it.

It is totally normal for girls to be uncomfortable with their female bodies and their periods. It’s normal to be uncomfortable with the female role. Tons of women are uncomfortable with the female role, in fact. Crying because you’ve gotten your period doesn’t make you a man—that’s normal for girls. After a while you get used to having a period though, and although it’s never pleasant, you won’t cry about it forever.

It’s also normal for a young lesbian to deny her sexual orientation. I also once had a conversation with my mother where she casually remarked that I had a crush on a girl and I loudly exclaimed that I did not. When this girl says that she yelled “I’m not a lesbian” at her mother, I can totally relate to that. I did have a crush on a girl but there was no way I wanted to be labelled as gay. It took me many more years to arrive at a place where I could admit it without panicking.

Gays and lesbians have made lots of progress but it’s not like homophobia is completely gone. We are a minority of the population and we are rarely represented in our culture. When lesbians are represented in media, we’re often represented inaccurately. We’re also still the punch line of jokes and something embarrassing to avoid talking about. It’s still hard to come out.

Despite her mother being accepting of her sexual orientation, she still could not accept it herself. We live in a misogynist culture that punishes gender-non-conforming and lesbian women, and so it’s not surprising that teenage GNC lesbians believe they have to either become men or die.


27 thoughts on “Girl transitions to avoid getting periods and being a lesbian

  1. Thank you for doing this painful work. Do you plan to keep viewing and documenting what’s happening? When it comes to teen lesbians who are looking for a way out of their pain, YouTube transition videos are Ground Zero. I wonder whether it would be valuable to collect data on these in a systematic way? Not a fun job, I know.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Its getting more and more ridiculous..instead of freeing these young women the trans movement feeds into their self hate and hatred towards Lesbians.

    I hated being a girl…I like boys stuff..sports like Ice Hockey and Martial arts, androgynous clothes and my brother’s toys. What I HATED was the domestic powerless feminine roles girls and women were expected to play..inferiors and this was the 60s and early 70s when Feminism was just arising again. But it also began questioning questioning questioning EVERY Female role..and women fought for expanding opportunities for ALL women.

    From now on I will call it the trans cult. It convinces people to hate themselves and to see medical solutions or social.lies as the way out. Lies most people wont believe ir who are too cowed and fearful of confrontation to go along with their illusions…

    After YEARS of being tomboy I DID come out as a Lesbian in community with others and I would have LOVED an affirming mother who told me my body was ok just as it is..and that being Lesbian was ok. I so so wanted that approval and NEVER got it. I felt shamed around my period, my growing breasts and teased for not wearing a bra…

    Not till I came out and I.met other radical Dykes and Dyke Witches that TAUGHT ME my bloods were Sacred..a Sacred Female Mystery that had been taken away from us..a Time we came together as womyn…Butch Dyke Witches taught me this..and it was radical exploratory times for Feminists and Lesbian where we questioned EVERYTHING and afirmed our Sacred Female roots..learned to LOVE our bodies..NOT take hormones and get them carved up on a surgeon’s table. THAT is NOT a path to.liberation!!! -FeistyAmazon

    Liked by 7 people

    • Without transition, these young women would get used to their periods eventually, they would find other lesbians eventually, and they’d finally be at home when they discovered the other masculine women in their community. They’d eventually find a lover who loves them for who they are, as butch dykes. Instead they’re passing as men and pretending to be straight, even though they’d be welcomed and loved in the lesbian community. Kids don’t know at age 16 that in the future it will not seem so catastrophic any more and it will become normal and enjoyable to be a lesbian. Everything seems like a life or death situation when you’re a teen, because you don’t know how to deal with it yet.

      Liked by 4 people

      • There is not a single thing that she said regarding her period or anything else, for that matter, regarding the rejection of the culturally enforced sex roles laid out for women that I did not equally (or even more severely) experience myself aside from ONE THING: I did not have a realistic opportunity of OPTING OUT. As a result, I did what adolescents are supposed to do: i accepted the reality of my body and acknowledged that sex-roles are bullshit that do NOT represent female reality and chose, *secure in who I am,* to resist them. I also overcame my internalized homophobia (did you notice her body language and the fact that she could barely even *say* the word “lesbian?”) and I became an adult. An integrated mature sexual being that doesn’t have to consciously “identify” as anything in order to function in the world.

        The very *existence* of the medical option of “transition” which creates the illusion of being able to “change sex” prevents adolescents from accepting themselves as they are. Why go through the *crisis* if you don’t have to? Why come to any understanding at all, when you can pay someone to create the illusion that your child-self has constructed?

        The “crisis” of adolescence *and its resolution* are a necessary components of identity formation if we are to mature in a healthy manner. The artificial *incomplete* development that “trans” identity provides to children and adolescents prevents the creation of a solid sense of self. That girl/Woman will always be burdened with having to “identify as” (a verb, a conscious act) that which she knowingly will never actually be, for regardless of how well she passes to others, she will be forced to expend mental energy on suppressing the knowledge of that part of her self which she has not resolved: her sex and her sexuality.

        “Transition” is the “cure” that has created the disease.

        Liked by 8 people

  3. All these young transtrenders’ videos are so sad, both because of what they’ve done to themselves and because many of them seem like really good people. I lived in fear and dread of menarche as a preteen, and when it arrived a month before I turned twelve, I was in such denial I didn’t even realize what was happening at first. For years, I was so ashamed and embarrassed about it, I couldn’t even bring myself to say the words “period” or “menstruation,” didn’t even want to have the evidence discovered in the wash or garbage can, and hid in the locker room closet on my 13th birthday to avoid telling my gym teachers I couldn’t go in the pool because of my period. I only began developing a healthy, reverential attitude towards menstruation when I discovered the Jewish laws of taharat hamishpacha (family purity) at age eighteen, and when I discovered reusable menstrual products some years later.

    This young woman sounds like she has an awesome, accepting mother. It’s a pity she ignored her mother’s wisdom to do her own thing. Where were all these transtrenders just a short generation ago, when I was around that age? I know exactly one woman my age who’s gone through surgery to remove her female parts and get male parts grafted on. Somehow all the other girls who didn’t rush to celebrate things like periods and sprouting breasts made it through adolescence without jumping in “T” and undergoing surgery.


    • The fact that her mother was accepting and affirming of her being a lesbian and she still couldn’t handle it shows how much lesbian hatred is in our culture in general. The only lesbians we ever see in the media are men’s porn fantasies of sexy straight women having pillow fights with each other. Real lesbians, especially butches, are made invisible to the young women who would look up to them.

      Liked by 4 people

  4. Well there. IS k.d. lang and the Red Tent Movement these days..theres many different Female and Goddess Gatherings where womyn and girls just coming into menarche are celebrated. We worked long and hard to recreate these Sacred Female Rites of Passage..often Lesbians on the forefront initially of the Womyns Spirituality Movement.

    If she could come into a strong Lesbian Movement like I did in the 1980s she could unlearn this Lesbian and Female self hate…perpetuatedby those very Youtube videos..and the surrounding patriarchal world…

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I remember in grade school during the early 2000’s, it being a lot more of a shock to find out two girls were dating, it was seen as gross, believed to be deserving of ridicule. While gay boys were admired and accepted for who they were by most students. I can imagine this is still an ongoing trend, while at the same time transgender is trending. I feel bad for young lesbians going through puberty dealing with gender/body dysphoria and lesbianism at the same time, while they’re being told online that’s really how a man thinks.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Pingback: Girl transitions to avoid getting periods and being a lesbian – Critiquing Transgender Doctrine & Gender Identity Politics

  7. Why cant he choose the body he wants for whatever reason. He probably would have gotten used to periods and being a lesbian, but transitioning is not a lesser or worse choice. People can be what they want to be or express what they are.


    • You make it sound like there is no difference between choosing to accept one’s body as it is and surgically removing healthy body parts and taking artificial hormones. On the one hand you have self-acceptance and on the other hand you have dissociation and artificial construction of a different body.

      Liked by 4 people

  8. It is a shame you think it’s normal to not want your period and think it’s unpleasant. That’s a cultural problem. It wasn’t like that for me. When I was at primary school we looked foward to it and kind of felt competitive about who would be first. You don’t need to teach girls “it will never be pleasant”, just suffer it. that’s the cultural attitude you need to change.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Damn this is so sad. There are easier ways to stop your period. She could have taken Lybrel or Seasonique, which are two different birth control brands that eliminate or reduce periods in the case of Seasonique. Personally I use Seasonique because I have a chronic illness and don’t have the energy to get out of bed and pee a lot of the time, let alone deal with period related hygiene. I know some females with epilepsy suppress their period as well because it triggers seizures. With all this trans shit, important and less invasive medical care like counseling, psychiatric drugs and birth control that these so called “transmen” need is being pushed aside for the supposedly one-size-fits-all drug that cures many maladies. Testosterone is not a panacea, it’s fucking poison to the female body in the doses transgender women take it.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Is there anyone on this site who isn’t ignorant and hateful? You are all affirming what these poor transgendered people are thinking themselves and are told by society; that they are somehow wrong, that if they just take the time to get used to their changing bodies that theyll learn to accept who they are. In the case of many cisgendered men and women this can be true but in trans people it leads to young men and women who spend their lives in a body that doesn’t fit which can and frequently does lead to mental health issues and tragically suicide. For those of you who don’t know or didn’t bother to find out over %40 of trans people will attempt suicide at least once in their lives, most of them before their 20th birthday.
    The reason we see more transgenderism now is because of changing trends in society and because until recently it was considered to be a mental illness. I dont know if any of you older “womyn” remember but once upon a time so was homosexuality.
    Don’t be ignorant about the transition process. Do your homework. Most countrys will not allow hormone replacement therapy until sixteen unless there is a very good reason to and most countrys will not allow transitioning to begin without extensive counselling. This isn’t a case of swapping genitals at the drop of a hat. Transitioning and especially gender reassignment surgery is always kept as a last resort when every other avenue has been explored.
    I’ll leave you with a quick self help guide to stop being a hateful transphobe.
    1. Think about how this issue affects you personlly.
    2. Realise that it doesn’t and move on with your life.
    It really is that easy.
    And don’t let yourself be the reason that another young trans person takes their life.


    • Hello Captain Red Muff. We’re not ignorant or hateful here. It’s not “phobic” to point out the effects that transgenderism has on lesbians. I care about the lesbian community which is why I care when things like this are happening to us. I’ve done tons of homework on this subject which is why I know that lots of FtM transsexuals are female homosexuals (lesbians) and that transition often doesn’t relieve dysphoria and that there are lots of women currently in the process of de-transitioning. I hope that you will do your homework too.

      Liked by 4 people

  11. So transwomen are women because their mind tells them it’s so, and that’s not a mental health condition but if we don’t agree they will kill themselves…. Suicide as a coping mechanism doesn’t scream “mental instability”… For the life of me I don’t see why the trans community doesn’t connect their own dots.

    Liked by 4 people

  12. Females are taught to hate their they differ from.the “norm” men, that men’ lives, bodies and health issues are deemed more important. That bleeding is a source of shame when in fact in every Matriarchal culture it was seen as a source of Sacred Female Power. The same with the ability to create and birth a child..anotherr blood mystery…and women onew which herbs to use to assist the birth and which 9bes to terminate it. Both are Female Mysteries that have been turned around as a source of pain and shame, and in birthing only in a narrow window of married acceptance.

    Our bodies always judged but not properly studied, brainwashed to be caretakers and helpnates of males including male children and always seen as less valuable and physicslly and sexually vulnerable. What Femsle wouldnt WANT to be male and hate EVERYTHING associated with femaleness and femininity??I know I did.

    I rebelled ay a young age hating my female body and lot in life AS A FEMALE,. As being “less than”, less valuable, given lesser opportunitiescompared to my brother, and I completely rejected femininity which I still see (at least as expressed by most white women) as a source of powerlessness, helplessness, weakness and IMPOSED on the rest of us.

    Not all Females are feminine. But practically all Females bleed and have the potential whether they want to or not to procreate. These are biological facts which cannot be escaped except with medical intervention. a Movement for Female empowerment, a sexual orientation and unique worldview where we give ourselves solely to other Females and put them first and foremost in our intimate lives. Comb8ne both and the Female is what wegive our deepest energies reason the patriarchy hates us so.much. we do not worship men or the male or their egos..rather we see right through them.

    This young Female only sees their distorted form of Pow3r over which she sodesperately wants and hates what binds Females together throughout Tume..our Sacref Bloods..nor did she learn to.embrace her Female Power..even with an accepting mother unlike so.many of us…instead woth each shot of testosterone she ingests more and more of the Patriarchy into her Female being..stunting and killing it..or trying to silence it..and she has swallowedcenturies of patriarchal religious and social shaming at the Source of our Sacred Female Power as taught by the malestream.

    But a life time of medical intervention through hormones and surgeries does NOT spell Liberation. And when these young women realize the lie…and see the dangerous bodily effects, they detransition.

    Liked by 1 person

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